Life’s Little and Big Transitions

July 14, 2015

Transition.
noun
1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change:

When I read that definition all I see is the word “change.” Up until lately I feel like I could easily be defined as a person who was adaptable to change. I tended to roll with the punches. That doesn’t mean I always had a smile on my face or didn’t put up a fight but I do believe while I may go through pout stages, I can quickly accept and move forward.

The thing is most young adults are actually okay, no, great with change. They have to be and they don’t even realize it. Within such a short period of time think about how much change a young adult goes through. There are so many transitions as one weaves their way through schooling, circles of friends or ever changing cliches, career paths, moving out of their parents home, falling in love, moving in with another, marriage and then boom, a baby!

That is where I am today. Looking back, the past 10 years have been full of change. It is now as we settle into adulthood, into norms, into routines that we become scared of change. Maybe it is because we have worked so very hard for what we have that we are afraid to “rock the boat,” as they say. That is also where I am today.

One thing Motherhood is teaching me is that change is inevitable because my baby is growing. This week I have been attempting to transition Baby Lo from our room to her own crib. I have made excuses for weeks as my husband pushed for us to begin a new routine months ago. Part of me wants her beside me for the pure comfort factor we have developed. Another part of me loves the fact that I am able to sleep, actually sleep and well, after so many months of not doing so, and this new set-up takes me back to newborn days when I awoke in a panic to make sure she was okay. Mostly though, I yearn for her closeness. Her being in that bedroom across the hallway is like a dreaded distance. She was not long ago inside me. Where I felt I could protect her. Soon after entering this beautiful yet scary world, she laid on my chest for those early weeks and we bonded. Placing her sweet self beside our bed every night never felt far, because she was an arms length away. But now things are different.

Now a walk stands between me and her. I watch her sleeping face on a monitor versus lifting my head to see hers. The anxiety of this transition may seem odd to most, including my husband who laughs and says, “What? Are you going to allow her to sleep in here until she is 12?”

“Yes!” I jokingly state.

But now as I write this post I am watching her peacefully sleeping from her monitor. Checking on her often. And, when I don’t get what I want from the monitor screen I make my way to her crib and look in on her. I tell her “I love her,” and most likely look so sad as I feel sad and almost sorry for this step of independence I am giving her.

I realize though, this transition is going to be one of many in our lives. I look back on those youthful years I described above. Full of so much change. All I can think about is my bouncy, happy self. I think about the days and how I choreographed my move out of the only home I knew and how much excitement I had as I started a new chapter. The only emotion I remember is happiness. Which leads me to finally realize what my parents went through as they nodded and smiled and slowly let me go. It is the same thing I am feeling. A new panging kind of pain I am beginning to experience for my girl.

Change is inevitable, it is how I choose to react that impacts the most, and in this situation it seems like this Momma, is going to have to for the first time fight back the tears and put a smile on my face. Because looking into this monitor, baby girl is just fine.

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3-6 Month Baby Must Haves

July 1, 2015

It happened. Just like that I turned my head and my sweet little swaddled baby has now graduated to a squirmy infant. Still sweet, though. Actually the thought of swaddling her now cracks me up as I think of my little Houdini grunting and breaking free from any restrictions. She is officially curious. I adore her and this stage.This morning I could not help but smile as I watched her for a few minutes moving her little fingers in front of her face, in pure amazement of her own hand and the movements she was creating. Her face was in awe as this small motion filled her with a sense of wonder.

When Baby Lo hit the three month mark, I celebrated with This Post. As baby grows, I have learned that so does her and my needs. That is why I want to share with my fellow parent and pregnant friends and followers some of the items that made our life convenient.

Baby Must Haves

1 – Braun Forehead Thermometer and while we are at it, a Digital Rectal Thermometer – Baby Lo had her first real fever and it scared me. Shook me up. The first fever does that to first time parents. I am what some like to refer to as a “worry wart.” So, I am sure it is really no surprise to close friends and family that this would be a top must have and ironically #1 on my list. Poor Baby Lo though, not only was she running a low grade fever, but she probably felt like groceries as I scanned her forehead so often through the night.

2 – Sophie the Giraffe – I registered for Sophie because EVERYONE registers for Sophie. You could say, I joined the Baby Stroller bandwagon. Although, I now can say, I underestimated the power of Sophie. She is a life saver, no, actually a pain saver, as those nasty teeth rear their heads and cause your sweet little baby to turn into a whining, not quite their self creature.Yes, creature. Sophie seems to do the trick though. This is a teething toy I definitely recommend! Come join the Baby Stroller Bandwagon with me.

3 – Brica Day & Night Light Musical Auto Mirror – This may seem minor in the grand ole scheme of things but let me tell you when your child looses it as you are driving home and proceeds to cry so hard for their dropped binkie that they hold their breath, forcing you to abruptly pull over for fear they are not breathing because again, you are a “worry wart,” you will wish you had a mirror. I quickly installed ours and learned it has been so helpful when checking on the baby while driving. Plus, our little miss loves seeing her reflection, so she is much happier on car rides.

4 – Graco DuoDiner LX High Chair – When baby hits the four month mark, most pediatricians will give you the “go” on starting solids. We waited a little longer with Baby Lo, but regardless a high chair is necessary for this next step. I love this Graco version. I truly had no idea just how great it would be when I nervously registered for one, and am so glad this one caught eye. One perk is that this high chair grows with baby and is super easy to clean, which let me warn you, is an absolute must for feedings.

5 – Gerber Graduates Rest Easy Spoons – You have a high chair, now you just need the spoons. Once you move to rice cereal and solids, well, it is quite obvious why you need spoons. I am a fan of this kind because of the built in rest. Baby Lo is a fan of holding and throwing spoons onto the floor from her high chair and I am the sucker who picks the spoon back up and plays this game.

6 – Pacifier Wipes – I am a “worry wart.” Do we have that established yet? With that, add in “germaphobe.” At six months your baby starts to learn cause and effect. Congratulations! This means lots of toys and binkies will be thrown, no chucked, across the room and sometimes land on the floor of a public space. Yuck! These wipes are so helpful for crazy Mommas like me who don’t want to go hunt down the nearest bathroom, yet are not crazy enough like Mommas of two, three or more children who “clean off” the binkie by sticking it in their own mouth before handing it back. I am just being real!

7 – Oball Bounce-O-Bunch Activity Center – Now is the time when baby wants to touch everything and explore their surroundings. An Exersaucer or Activity Center allows for baby to see the world from a new angle, hone in on new skills and allows Momma and DaDa some time to tackle things around the home with free hands.

8 – Baby Bibs – One word… teething! When teething arrives so does the drool. It is water works city and you need to protect your Saint Bernard, I mean, baby! A bib will help minimize chapped skin or rashes that can come from drool. Plus, once you start feeding your baby solids you will quickly learn that more food will make it on your baby’s shirt than in you baby’s mouth, so a bib will protect those pretty little clothes.

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Who Da Boss

May 2, 2015

7:15 am – Me: Looking at clock, looking at sleeping, peaceful baby, looking at clock, feeling sleepy, no – shake it off, look at clock, look at baby. I get up.

At this point, I had already been up early with Baby Lo, changed her, fed her and rocked her back to sleep. I contemplated, “Do I go to sleep to or take advantage of the time?” Time won over sleep. I took a 15-minute glorious shower, tippy-toed through my bedroom to get dressed (Baby Lo was morning cat-napping on my bed) – I even caught myself sighing at myself for being too loud, something I usually reserve for Nathan. I quickly, and I mean quickly got ready for the day. In those tense moments I realized something… this is her world and I am just living in it.

Yep! That is it. Having a baby demoted my status in the chain of command around this here house. Fellow parenting friends, lend me your ear, and just think about it for a moment. But, hurry as you read… you never know when the Boss may need you.

Strict Hours – Early starting hours and late evenings. Bedtime… we can’t push it. If we do, we pay for it with a cranky, crying meltdown. The Boss has strict orders. She knows her limits and we have learned from our mistakes.
Time is of the Essence – She does not mess around. Time Management is key to our success as a family. I wish there was a camera on Nathan and me as we get ready to go somewhere. She sits in her car seat, eyes moving back and forth watching us as we scramble – “Bottle? Pacifier? Change of clothes? Wipes? Extra blanket?” Once we decided to stop and have a drink by the water cooler (aka – in the kitchen) and when we made eye contact with her… it was the end of that!
Expects Us to Read her Mind – Man, I wish I had an HR to report to on this one. She is a lady of very few words. Very few. I stare at her sometimes and think, “What do you want?” Every now and then she smiles, giggles and then just loses it with a scream. I grab a bottle, a pacifier, do a little bounce dance until finally the right solution does the trick.
Demanding – She knows what she likes and the way she likes it. Swaddle – Heck no! Oh, you just sat down for dinner – Yeah, I smelled it cooking, I think I want held now. It’s Monday – let’s sleep in! Oh, wait, it is Saturday – yeah I am feeling this 5 am hour thing. We learned it is best for us all to go with the flow.
High Standards – Guilt. When I get home late from my day job, I feel guilty. If I need a babysitter for a few hour on the weekend, I feel guilty. If she falls asleep earlier than usually (rough day in the office) and I don’t feel I have spent enough time with her, I feel guilty. When Nathan rocks her to sleep over me, I feel guilty. Her high standards are reflective in the kind of Mom I am. It is a terrible thing. I hear it does get better.

The good totally outweighs any bad, my little Boss displays. She is lax in the dress code department. No such thing as “dress down Friday,” she is cool with whatever I have on and never judges, she shows compassion, she listens, she acknowledges our work with the best smiles and giggles, she generates a real happiness in our workplace, I mean home and she pushes us to be our best. The best we can be is because of that little lady.

Oh, and deadlines… I will take the late shift, Boss. You just rest your little head.

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Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

April 23, 2015

Mother’s Day is quickly approaching and it holds a whole new meaning for me this year. Last year during Mother’s Day we knew we were pregnant but the secret was still too new to share with others. I often think back to where I was this time last year and am in awe over how quickly time moves.

As I mentioned, I was just a few weeks pregnant last Mother’s Day. I remember thinking, “Do I celebrate or not?” And, just thought I will let Nathan take the lead. That day we had plans with our families and as I jumped into the truck I noticed an opened card and envelope laying on the front seat. Thinking it was a card Nathan picked up for his Mom and needed us to sign I opened it, and just like a little kid who walks in on their mother wrapping Christmas gifts, I realized it was a card for me. I quickly placed it how I found it, but as Nathan jumped in the truck he could 100% read through my, “Card? What, card? I didn’t see a card” face. Later he revealed he had an intention on surprising me with a kayak but ran out of time that weekend. Yes, a kayak. The perfect gift for a newly pregnant gal! (In his defense, he got one for Christmas and we had all these visions of spending that summer on the water). I guess the whole pregnancy thing hadn’t quite sunk in for either of us yet.

1 – Secret Garden: Adult Coloring Book
For the Artistic Mom… Is this not the coolest? There is something therapeutic about coloring, and Mom, could use a little R&R no matter what form. If you go this route, don’t forget to pick up crayons or markers that she can call her own! Ain’t no’ body have time for sharing broken red and purple pieces with the kids!

2 – Philosophy: Amazing Grace
For the Fragrance Loving Mom… Such a feminine scent from a favorite beauty brand. Plus, who doesn’t love the name?

3 – TOMS: Women’s Classics
For the Mom Who Likes To Give Back… TOMS Mission, “With every pair of shoe you purchase, TOMS will give a new pair of shoes to a child in need.” TOMS come in a variety of styles and designs are super comfortable. Pick out a pair for Mom and feel good knowing someone else is benefiting from your purchase.

4 – Lilly Pulitzer: Cover-Up
For the Beach Loving Mom… Contribute to Mom’s beach vacation fashion with this perfect cover-up. Have fun and throw in a pair of sandals and a cute fedora. I am eying this one up.

5 – Amazon: Equil Smartpen 2
For the Techie Mom… Like to doodle? Who doesn’t? Here is how this bad boy works. Basically it is a digital pen, that is connected to your iOS, Mac, Android and Windows devices via Bluetooth. You can share your creations to iCloud, Dropbox, select social media sites and more.

6 – Etsy: Laptop Sleeve
For the Traveling Mom… I just adore this traveling sleeve for a laptop or MacBook. I am also a big fan of soft colors and anything on Etsy. It is functional and a homemade gift, so not every Mom on the block will have one.

7 – Anthropologie: Iridescent Jar Candle
For the Spa Going Mom… I adore this candle mostly because of the color. That blue just speaks to me. Throw this in a basket with some bubble bath and a new robe and tell Mom to shut the bathroom door, turn on some music and kick her feet up in a bubble bath. And, don’t you dare interrupt her!

8 – UncommonGoods: Succulent Living Wall Planter
For the Green Thumb Mom… I can just a envision this on a beautiful brick exterior wall or inside a dining room wall with the sunlight streaming in. Who needs a boring watercolor painting when you can have living wall art?

Maybe one of these Mother’s Day gift ideas can work for your Mom or maybe you will go a different route. Whether it is a card or a getaway, a phone call or breakfast in bed, or heck, even a kayak… one thing is for certain, take time out of your day to say “thank you,” and be sure to let Mom know she is special and you care.

Happy Mother’s Day, early, to all you Momma’s out there.

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This Is My Moment

April 18, 2015

This is a simple post.

Do you have moments you live for or moments when you quietly think, “Ahhh, this is life”?

It is just you and me and the sunshine streaming into your nursery window. We rock. I hum and feed you your morning bottle. After a burp, the binkie goes in and I turn some Avett Brothers music on. Wrap you tightly, pull you close, and we rock some more. Every now and then your eyes lock with mine and they light up and you smile so softly as I sing you the words. Once you fall asleep in my arms the whole world feels so incredibly peaceful. The house is absolutely still and quiet except for our music and rocking.

This is my moment.

I have come to realize that I work hard all week for this very moment. My weekdays are countdowns to my weekends at home with you. If I could imagine what heaven would feel like, this is it.

This is my moment and it is always with you.

Do you have a favorite moment that you live for? A simple moment that matters the most. Share in the comments below!

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This Is What Motherhood Did To Me

April 13, 2015

I once was a woman who kept up with her home. Clean dishes, folded laundry, organized cabinets and a made bed.

Now dishes are piled high as if the sink is just a storage bin. Our laundry sits in the baskets so long that it wrinkles to the point that I have to wash it all over again. My bed looks like a teenage boy resides here (no offense!). If I make the bed on Saturdays. It is a luxury.

I once was a woman who equated a good time with going out. Friday nights at home were lame. Dinner dates never began before 7 pm and always ended with drinks and maybe even dancing somewhere with friends.

Now Fridays consist of heels off, sweatpants on, take-out ordered and if we are lucky, we last past 9:30 pm.

I once was a woman who made a fuss over presentation. My home decor changed on the spot with the season. Even the simplest of get-togethers included well-thought out themed menus, down to matching disposable plasticware.

Now I consider myself extra festive with my new Spring flag in the front yard. It was Fall harvest themed about two weeks ago.

I once was a woman who found time for me. I made salon appointments for the latest ombre hairstyle, booked a manicure, did a little shopping, or a lot of shopping and always seemed to run out of time on weekends getting to do what I wanted to do.

Now I consider it a good day if my hair is not high atop my head in a messy bun, if both legs are shaved (yes, I have in a hurry forgot to shave a leg), and my goodness I felt like I went to the spa when I took some time to clip my nails and pluck my eyebrows.

This is what motherhood did to me. Motherhood turned me into someone else. Someone on most days that I don’t recognize. Motherhood took the former me and shook her up a bit. Rocked the ground beneath where she once stood.

Motherhood made me a messy house baring, pizza eating homebody who would trade in getting all dolled up for a night out on the town for sweatpants and a movie, holding her baby.

You see before motherhood the woman I once was cared about things, but that is just what they were, things. Everything that defined the woman I once was, centered around perceptions. I don’t feel like she was a selfish woman, she just didn’t know any different or better. Motherhood gave me the ability to live more simply and love more stronger. It allowed me to put things into perspective and see what is important. Motherhood said your dishes can wait but your baby will grow if you don’t slow down and live in the moment. Motherhood made me appreciate what I had and not what I wanted.

This is what motherhood did to me… and I kind of like it.

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0-3 Months Baby Must Haves

March 23, 2015

Preparing for baby Lo felt like a college cram session (in case you are new to the blog, I should share that this is my first child). When I initially found out I was pregnant I downloaded the What To Expect App, which I would very much recommend to any new mommies out there. It tracks your pregnancy and provides daily advice based on your pregnancy progression. Some days I would wake up with a new pregnancy symptom or worry and open the App and the daily topic would be so relevant. MIND BLOWN! Download the App!

When we revealed to family and friends our news, an overwhelming amount of verbal advice came rushing in. From which bottles to use and what diapers are the best, to the must have baby gadgets and whether or not organic matters.

I honestly had a few panic attacks in the first trimester from the overwhelming amount of advice I was receiving. It felt suffocating at times. At one point I even thought… “I should have read more before I thought about getting pregnant! How will I ever learn everything?”

Some of my biggest worries came down to baby products. It felt like I needed a truckload to welcome baby. I scanned Consumer Reports, read Baby Blogs, listened to fellow Mommy’s advice and visited website reviews. Looking back there were things I could have lived without but there are also those things that have been absolutely necessary.

Baby Must Haves

1 – Aden + Anais Classic Swaddles – These are my absolute favorite baby item! There is a huge difference when swaddling baby in Aden + Anais versus a cotton receiving blanket.They are made from muslin so they are breathable. Plus, the patterns are super cute too!

2 – Ingenuity Moonlight Rocking Sleeper – This is the sole reason I sleep at night! Baby Lo loves this Sleeper. When she was born we had the Sleeper in our Living Room because it is not as bulky as a Pack N’ Play. Once we realized Baby Lo preferred to sleep in the Rocking Sleeper over the Pack N’ Play we had set up in our room, well, we packed up the Pack N’ Play and moved the Sleeper back beside our bed. She loves the incline position.

3 – Motorola Digital Video Baby Monitor – When you can’t be two places at once, this digital monitor is a must! I can sneak in a shower while the baby sleeps in the next room and not have to worry that I can’t hear her because this monitor has video and sound capabilities.

4 – Britax B-AGILE Travel System Stroller – I spent the absolute most time researching the best stroller and car seat for Baby Lo. I read so many reviews and received so much advice. Go to the store and test out the products! That is my advice. I was torn between this brand and another, but once I tested the Britax system out while registering I knew this was the one for me. The stroller is lightweight and will grow with baby. Storage is also super convenient.

5 – Munchkin Formula Dispenser – This inexpensive must have is one super valuable item. One time my in-law accidentally took ours home, mistaking it for theirs and both my husband and I planned our day around picking it up. Since, I breastfeed and supplement formula, this little invention is so helpful for when we are on-the-go or even for middle of the night feedings.

6 – Dreambaby Room & Bath Thermometer – This is an absolute must! I can’t tell you how many times I have thought the bath water felt just right but was well over 102 degrees! A big no, no for baby bath time. What feels good to you as an adult is so much different for baby. I did hear a great tip to use your elbow to test bath water versus your hand, but it is still comforting to know what temperature the water is before I put the baby in.

7 – AVENT Soothie Pacifier – Have you read this? Now you know why I love a binkie!

8 – Baby K’Tan – I researched the perfect baby carrier and after reading many other Blogs giving this product high praises, I was so happy to receive the Baby K’Tan and equally enjoy. It is super durable, cleanable and lightweight! Plus, you get your hands back, so you can cook, clean, pay bills… you know, fun adult stuff. Baby Lo loves when I put her in the Baby K’Tan and vacuum the house. She falls right asleep!

9 – Boppy – If you are breastfeeding then I would highly recommend the Boppy. During the first few weeks the Boppy was so important in providing support. As Baby Lo got bigger, the Boppy has been great for propping and supporting her while I fold laundry beside her or even put on some make-up. I know, crazy?! Also, make sure the Boppy is purchased before you have baby and pack it with your Hospital Bag. Trust me! You will be so happy you did!

10 – Medela Breast Pump – Again, if you choose to breastfeed, this is a must! Once your milk comes in and you start to get the hang of breastfeeding you will want to explore pumping. I was so grateful once I had stored milk for someone else to assist with a feeding. My insurance covered this pump. It is a basic pump, but I really like it and would recommend it to anyone who is planning on breastfeeding.

What items would you recommend for a Baby Registry? Do you have must have baby items for 0 – 3 month old babies? If so, please share below!

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How I Survived The Market With An Infant

March 15, 2015

* I must begin this post with explaining the word “Market.” In my neck of the woods, we refer to a Grocery Store as a Market and we refer to a large grocery purchase as a “Market Order.” I work in the next state over from where I call home and I will never forget the looks on my co-worker’s faces as I casually stated, “Yeah, this weekend I made it to the Market. I had to get a huge Market Order so I am packing a good lunch today, girls.” Everyone stared at me like I was talking in a new language. Later I learned no one had any clue what a “Market” was nor a “Market Order” and had visions of me shopping at a Farmer’s Market style venue where I sent in a pre-order and picked it up. My one co-worker said, “I envisioned you in a farm field with rows upon rows of produce in crates.” Ahhhh, I wish. So, now that I set the vocabulary for my post, let’s dive in.

Yesterday I accomplished a feat. It was such an accomplishment that my exhausted mind and body are just now sitting down to write this post. What major event do you have to announce, you ask? Well, Baby Lo and I successful went to the Market.

You see up until this point, I have solely relied upon my husband for the market runs. While I was on Maternity Leave he would call before leaving the office and stop to get anything I may need which usually consisted of coffee (I was sleep deprived), water (I was always thirsty) and Oreo’s (my sweet tooth from pregnancy never disappeared).

Twice, just twice can I recollect taking the baby to the market in the last 12 weeks. Both times have been for essentials and no more than the Express Lane limit. In and out was my motto! Once, I attempted to take her for an order. I was getting her out of her car seat to transfer her to the Baby K’Tan and after realizing she had a dirty diaper and changing her on a slant in the backseat of the car, I was so tired and she was so cranky, that I packed her back up in the car seat and came home. We ordered take-out that night.

Let me tell you… I felt like the Little Engine that could. “I think I can, I think I can.” She just successfully downed a bottle, had a nice clean diaper and was in a snugly sleep as we walked into this new found land. By the way these three essentials are key. I had nightmares of having to breastfeed by the Frito Lays, so high fives for a full belly.

I sat baby Lo, who slept peacefully, car seat and all into the back of the buggy (Yep, shopping cart. You are learning quick, young grasshopper) and headed straight for produce. Have you ever grocery shopped with an infant that cannot yet sit upright in the buggy? Ummmm… newsflash, there is LIMITED room in the cart once baby and car seat are set down. So, to say I had to get crafty and creative with my groceries is an understatement. I somehow managed to fit all my produce and some additional items in the child seat portion of the buggy. I actually got excited over how I organized and utilized the minimum space I had. I know… I am weird.

Shopping with a baby has its major perks. Fear of a mid-shopping session meltdown and the lack of cart space had me on a mission and seconding the need for every purchase. No, more crazy thoughts like, “I think I will make homemade granola this week!” Followed by parking my buggy in aisle 5 as I search Pinterest for a recipe.

I did however stop with baby to gawk at our Market’s amazing selection of Izze’s. Thank you for NOW deciding to carry more of a variety. I only lived off these when I was pregnant with Lo. FYI – Pregnant friends, these are amazing! Also, if you find yourself say at the beach pregnant or hanging out with non-pregnant, drinking friends… these are your lifesaver. Promise!

If that is not enough to make you giddy, going to the market with a baby means extra hands and help from the people around you. I would have never described fellow grocery shoppers up until this point as kind and patient. Let’s just say if I was Nora in Christmas with the Kranks, people would have been paying me to take the last of the Honey Ham.

At one point I launched the buggy into the middle of the aisle as I scanned the shelf for canned corn. I know, daring. I actually heard the woman sigh very loudly as if saying to me, “Okay, move! You are blocking the whole aisle.” Once she saw I had a baby in the buggy, she actually apologized and explained how she, “remembered those days.”

Finally as my journey came to an end, reality set in about the same moment I was searching through the diaper bag for my coupons and money. While the baby fit so well in her car seat surrounded by the many items I was purchasing, how would she and the bulky disposable bags co-exist together in the buggy until I was able to unload. Let me tell you, I broke out into a cold sweat. And, so did other shoppers as people watched me unload the car seat, load the bulky bags that now took up all the buggy space and teeter the car seat on the rim of the buggy. (Don’t freak out! Apparently this is how I should have shopped with the car seat all a long.)

Walking out of the market, I just wanted to get home. Baby Lo was amazing but my constant worrying left me mentally exhausted. The funny thing is after I finally got everything unloaded and put away at home it dawned on me… I picked up nothing for dinner for that evening!! Seriously? How does this happen.

After rocking the baby to sleep, my husband and I kicked our legs up and dived into a hot dog. Guess what? I have always loved hot dogs, so life is good!

Spoil Away

March 4, 2015

I have been thinking about this post for some time now. The thought of it keeps nagging me. Often my posts are planned and other times they are spur of the moment, like this ONE. I was a blubbering mess when I wrote that one. It is one of my favorites though!

Sometimes a thought hits me and I jot down the idea to venture back around. However, this one, well this one, has kept coming at me like those “trust your gut” feelings. I will be honest, I kind of ignored the thought a few times because I was worried what people would think with what I had to say. Parenting can be so controversially because everyone does it differently and has their own biases. Then I thought, “this is my Blog dagnabbit and if I want to write about it, well I can.” That is how it goes when you are the boss. And, on here, I am the boss! 🙂

So, let’s go… hey, maybe it won’t be so bad?

The four words I really have grown to despise these days – “You are spoiling her!” I really don’t like hearing it. I actually hate it to be frank.

Can you really spoil a 10-week old baby? It is not like she is asking for candy when we go to the market to which I either immediately cave or say “no” multiple times all while walking the aisles listening to her scream and cry until I can no longer take it, finally circling back around to hand her the candy. It is not like I make us a family meal to which my infant turns up her nose, declaring McDonald’s and then I rush out of our home to return with her nugget meal just in time before she has cried herself to sleep. You see to me… that is spoiling.

Right now I have a little baby whose only means of communicating with me is to cry. She knows no other way. She does not know what a temper tantrum is yet. She is not crying because she wants something out of selfishness or neediness. She cries because she can’t say – “hey, mom, ummm… I dirtied myself, a dry diaper would be awesome.” She cries because of basic needs.

I will admit, Lo likes to be held. She is content in our arms. If I put her under her play yard or in her swing, yes, I gain about 15 minutes of hands free time to do something. However, like clockwork though, she will cry and I will pick her up. “You are spoiling her. She wants to be held all the time.” As a mom, it seriously goes through me like a knife. Yes, she wants to be held, but the root of it is that she wants affection or to be close to someone. Just like crying because she is hungry, tired, has a dirty diaper or is not feeling good, needing comfort IS a basic need for an infant. In my opinion, responding to her is building her confidence. She is learning that she can rely upon me and trust that I will be there. I am building her sense of security. Isn’t that the opposite of dependence?

I have been told I am spoiling her from responding to her whimpering too quickly. I should let her cry more before I pick her up. The fact is I see her hunger cues. She is rooting, sucking her hand or turning her head back and forth. Why wait until she is screaming to feed her? It is not spoiling when you know your baby and trust your intuition. Soothing your child is part of parenting.

Granted I understand there will come a day when my infant reaches toddler hood and she will develop a sense of what is wrong and right. She will begin to understand how her actions affect her world. She will have temper tantrums and push her boundaries and my buttons. She will then enter a world where I will comprehend those dreaded words… “You are spoiling her!”

She is 10-weeks old today, but 10-years old tomorrow. I will love her and care for her and savor every single minute of her because one day I may not be the one she reaches for first, cries out to for help, depends on for basic needs or sadly, falls asleep in my arms.The reality of it all is that whether I am picking up my crying baby from her swing or allowing her to softly sleep on my chest, she is spoiling me. And, that, I am okay with!

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