The Roots Of Our Family, My Mom

June 24, 2016

Today, my beautiful Momma turns a milestone age.

I won’t announce her year of birth or the numbers of candles on the cake. As a woman I know, that is reserved for her discretion. But, I will share that it is in fact a celebration year.

I cannot adequately express the love and admiration I have for this beautiful soul. She is the heartbeat of our family. Strong and unbreakable.

As I got thinking about her more deeply, my mind kept flashing pictures to me of the roots of a tree. And, I thought, “Wow, what a symbol for her?”

You see, roots typically lie below the surface of the earth’s soil. My mother has always been in the background. She was the stay-at-home-mom, who managed five children, each with unique personalities and passions. She had gone to college to become a nurse and put that on the back burner for her children. As a child, I never noticed occupations, but as I entered middle school and became more observant of my friends and their family dynamics, I often wondered. At times, I remember not being proud when someone would ask, “What does your mom do for a living?”

“She stays at home,” I would mumble without making eye contact. Why did I think it was so bad? In fact, it was great! She was always present. She juggled us, our schedules, our wants and needs, the home, our meals, the laundry and much more. But, just like wine gets better with age, so does knowledge and understanding. I soon absorbed the weight of her sacrifice and once I had a child, truly understood the work, my golly the work of a stay-at-home-mom. It is a thankless, demanding, 24-7, no vacation days job. One no career seeker would ever want to take on. But, it was rewarding for us kids. She was the steady one, often unnoticed and underappreciated for her contributions and their value.

And, severing roots, can damage a tree. When she was down, we all were down. You know the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” It goes for Mom too! If our Mom hurt we felt it. To this day, any pain or sadness she endures seems to magnify my own feelings. It is like we are virtually connected and what her soul feels, I too can feel.

Roots take up water, minerals and nutrients from the soil to help the tree grow. When I read this, I smile, because that is the epitome of my Mom. The most selfless human I know. Sacrificing for the sake of others. Piling on her plate and adding another line to her to-do list. Not motivated by money or things for such added responsibility but for the mere sake of giving. Soaking up every bit of herself, her energy and her love, to throw back out to us to have and experience and to rely upon. Her kindness and care for her mother, my grandmother, who has become dependent on her through the years, to willingly and excitedly taking on childcare of my daughter, so that I can work outside the home. These are just a few examples of the magnitude of her love and heart.

Then the strongest of all, roots provide an anchor to the plant. And, that is what she is. Our anchor. A constant reminder of safe, home and love. The best wide open arms you would ever need to come running, crashing into. The best contemplation of words you need to hear. To make you a better person or comfort your breaking heart. The soft shoulder to cry onto or lean upon when the world gets brutal and tough. The steadfast root system that breathes the life into our family.

She is deeply rooted to us and we to her.

Thank you, Mom for all that you have sacrificed, for the strong support you provide and for the life you have made for us. Happy Birthday!

1.5 Staring At Me

June 20, 2016

There you are, my sweet baby girl.

Those big blues, get me every time. How has time flown? How are you running and chasing and climbing and talking? I always heard other parents exclaim, “Cherish every moment. Time will fly by.”

I never believed them. How could it be? A month sometimes felt like forever, and a year an eternity. But, now that I have you I see, understand and feel time. The tick tock that echos in my mind.

You have a personality. Ornery at its best. You make us laugh and smile. You keep us on our toes with your energetic ways. Never too tired. Never content with the same thing, but always, always on the go. Up and down and literally all around. Yesterday, you mimicked my ways and hid on the opposite of the bed waiting to “roar” as I walked by. Sometimes you leave me quite awe-struck at your little brain and the way you pick things up.

You are smart. Counting to 10 on cue and proudly announcing the color “Blue!” when detected. Surpassing “Where are your eyes? Noes? Ears?” and now identifying your shoulders and elbows! You absorb at the highest.

Your temper tantrums intensify. And, patience not yet your virtue. But, maybe not mine yet either, so you get it honestly. Sorry.

Your smile. Those crazy “big kid” teeth that seem to sprout like a well watered bloom and that crazy giggle gets your Daddy and I every time.

All decked in your Sunday best, you just want “down!” to run, to explore, to see the world and take it in. I have made a mental pact with myself to never buy you white anymore. It just gets ruined. You live in the moment like all kids do. Spotting a fluttering butterfly and chasing. Hearing a crackling in the woods and looking up at me before taking off to the tree line. It is refreshing and lovely.

The true ‘apple of our eye.’ You are loved more than you know and can easily comprehend. For you are the reason I smile every day. You are the reason I am proud of me.

1.5 years old and staring me in the face. My goodness, what a sweet wonderful world you are.

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What Is The Best Advice Your Dad Has Given To You

June 19, 2016

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” – Jim Valvano

During Mother’s Day, I reached out to a handful of friends and asked them to contribute to my Blog. You can read that Here. The whole process was so enlightening and inspiring that I decided to do the same for Dads, but switch it up a bit.

On Friday, I shared This Post. It was a tribute to my own father. A man that I do not thank or appreciate enough. This morning I awoke, kissed my husband and told him “Happy Father’s Day,” opened Facebook and found out that one of my friends lost her husband last night. He a father, a great father, I witnessed him in action. My heart broke and the sudden heaviness on my chest seemed much more overwhelming as I sat and thought about his children who would awaken this morning without the earthly presence of their Dad. While I pray for them today and send positive thoughts out to the universe, I know so many of you too will read this Blog as a “fatherless child.”

I do not know your pain. I do not know the emptiness you feel. Whether it be a sudden loss, a father who has passed for many years, a father who is alive but you are estranged from, know that today while you pass the greeting card aisle, see a family out at breakfast, open Facebook to a flood of messages and pictures, know that I am thinking of you.

Those who are blessed to still have their Dad with them today, please call him, visit him or send him a text. Say “I love you,” say “I appreciate you” and please say “thank you.”

As a mother, I know the sacrifices and love I make for my child. Watching my husband with her, well the love and sacrifices he makes for our family is equally as tremendous. And, also as a parent, I finally feel like a fog is lifted from my eyes and I see just how much my parents have given through the years and how incredibly their love has been.

So today, Happy Father’s Day Friends and to my Blog contributors – Thank you.

I asked each friend below to answer the following:

“What is the best advice your Dad has given to you?”

The answers, well, you just have to read!

“When asked ‘What is the best advice your Dad has ever given you?’ I really didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t think of a time when my dad sat me down and said, ‘Here is some advice to live by.’ The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my dad has given me a lifetime of advice without saying a word. The whole, “actions speak louder than words” rings true. In my life, my dad has advised me to work hard for every single penny you have, that those same pennies mean nothing at the end of the day, to make good on your promises even when jumping ship feels like the easy way out, to be true to yourself and never apologize for that, to admit it when you are wrong, to always say you’re sorry, to never settle for ‘good enough,’ to always help those in need, and to laugh like heck every step of the journey. My Daddy has never had to give me any advice, I’ve always been blessed to watch his actions and simply know, this is how you live.” – Mallory

“My Dad gave advice by example. He would tell me to be kind, sensitive to others, generous and do what’s right. Of course, that’s how he lives his life. The best advice he gave my brother, ‘I don’t care if you want to dig ditches the rest of your life. Just be the best ditch digger you can be.’ And, I have to share two from my husband’s Dad, ‘Don’t ever get a financial advisor. If they know so much about money, they’d be retired.’ And, my favorite, on the occasion of our first date, ‘Just remember, pick your nose with your right hand and scratch your butt with your left.’ That man was a character.’ – Michaela

“My Dad and I are cut from the same cloth. The older I get, the more similarities I find. As you can see from the picture and our incredible sense of style, lol. My Dad is the most inspirational man on the planet. He dreams big, fights for what he believes in and never gives up. All while maintaining a big belly laugh that makes you feel at home every time you hear it. I call him the “Big Fish” because he reminds me so much of Dad from the movie, “The Big Fish.” The best advice he ever gave me, and there have been some gems, is that ‘Failure is not an option.’ Anytime I was afraid of making a leap of faith in life, love, or business he would just tell me to believe and that if I believe, I can’t fail, then anything is possible. He is 100% right. Anytime the “what if” worry trolls start to creep in I just repeat that phrase and know that I can overcome and find success. I love this man more everyday and feel honored to call him my Father, my mentor, and one of my best friends.” – Coty

“Okay, it was hard to choose what the best advice has been since all of his advice has helped to shape who I am but I’ll go with this. My Papa many times has said, ‘Live your life honestly, be true to those you love and always follow what it is that makes you who you are. (…and clean your room!).’ Ha! He’s our favorite storyteller, a forever friend, and our hero!” – Deanna

Look out there…
“My father was a large man. My mother referred to him as a ‘gentle giant.’ His large posture and huge hands had many young suitors of his daughter’s shaking in their shoes. I was the youngest of his five children and due to the large age gap from my closest sibling, quite possibly an “Oops!” I was; however, definitely daddy’s little girl. I remember my dad taking me kicking and screaming in his big, strong arms and walking me calmly into the Atlantic Ocean. He finally stopped waist deep and told me to stop crying and ‘look out there.’ I did and it was amazing. A few years later he took me on a Ferris Wheel. Once again, I was screaming because we were stuck at the top. He giggled softly and told me to take my hands away from my face and ‘look out there.’ I did and it was awesome. Fast forward to my teens and my father was teaching me to drive. Half way through the stressful lesson when all I did was stare at the road, he placed his hand on my shoulder and told me to ‘look out there.’ I did and it was easier. I didn’t realize it at the time but my father didn’t want me to live my life with my head down. He didn’t want me to be too scared, too serious or too focused. He wanted me to stop worrying and enjoy the people, places and experiences around me no matter how big or small. I still struggle to follow his advice in my busy life. I do find that I have missed a lot because I didn’t ‘look out there.’ But I will be forever grateful that he told me to ‘look out there’ and I hope I can pass this advice on to my children.” – Joy

“My Dad was an amazing, amazing man. I know many people will say this today, especially since its Father’s Day and I’m sure they mean it also, but anyone who knew my Dad will tell you this is absolutely true. I don’t know of one person that did not like him nor do I know of anyone that he disliked. I never heard him speak a harsh word about anyone. In my entire life I never saw him mad or angry. I don’t know of any other person I can say that about. He was so kind and compassionate. He chose to talk about the good in people. He had patience beyond words. He was never to busy for you. He gave you his undivided attention. I’ll tell you a little story about this. My Dad use to work on his vehicles in his garage. A little neighborhood boy whose father had died would come down to his house and for hours would lay on the ground with my Dad under his car asking questions. ‘What’s this? What’s that? What does this do? What does that do?’ On, and on. My Dad explained everything in great detail to him. My Mom would say to my Dad, ‘How can you stand that day after day? All those same questions?’ My Dad would reply, ‘It’s ok, Honey, he just needs someone to talk to. He’s just lonely.’ My Dad was a very funny guy also. He loved to play jokes on people. He loved to scare the living day lights out of you. I can still hear his laugh. He was a huge Washington Redskins fan. He loved picnics, amusement parks and especially riding the roller coasters. He loved going camping with his kids and grandkids. Sometimes spending the entire summer at the river with his family. Christmas was his favorite holiday. He was like a sorcerer working his magic. When we were kids the tree was never brought into the house until we were all in bed on Christmas Eve. By morning it looked like a mystical, magical farmland. The tree decorated from top to bottom and a Christmas yard under the tree that was so detailed it looked like a live village. There were houses, churches, stores and roads made from coal dust. A train that ran on a track (THIS ONE IS FOR YOU, ASHLI) a mirror for a pond. Still to this day, I don’t know how he got it all done in one night. He was a Veteran. He served in the Army during World War II. He was loyal. He kept the same friends he served in the war with his entire life. He was a honest, hard working man that never missed a day of work. He was a Christian and he put God and his family above everything. His parenting skills surpass all others. He taught us to love unconditionally and we learned this by following his example. Oh! By the way, he always smelled so good! I still have a bottle of his after shave lotion. Sometimes I open it up and just breath the scent of him in and at that moment I know he’s right here beside me. The one thing he taught me, and I learned this by his example, was to love unconditionally. I hope I have passed this down to my kids and grandkids. There is a song that says, “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” If this was my Dad’s song, it would say “I’d like to teach the world to love in perfect harmony.” HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY! Love you!” – Pat (my Meema)
How beautiful? Again, thank you to my special Blog contributors. Much love to you! And, to you all, no matter where your heart feels today, I send you virtual hugs and love.

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How The World’s Quietest Man, Taught Me The World’s Loudest Lessons

June 17, 2016

Father’s Day weekend is here and I thought it would be fitting to carve out some time and some space on the internet to honor my Dad. Although, it is kind of funny though, as my Dad really deep down despises the internet and social media because he can’t stand walking into a room and seeing his family, with their ‘noses all in their phones and faces down.’ As a marketing professional with a strong grasp on all things social media and digitally related, he still to this day, eight years into my career, cannot fully understand what I do or how it impacts business.

I have had countless conversations on what Twitter is versus Facebook and the definition of a ‘Tweet’ and how it all works. He knows I have this Blog but cannot fully grasp what a ‘Blog’ is or why I would ever spend my free time doing this. He has questioned why we (as in his family) are so obsessed with our phones, and then when I say, ‘This is the way the world now communicates with each other and businesses.” He scowls and explains, “Well, I don’t.”

It is ultimately funny that I sit here writing about communication when my father is a man of very little words. Let me repeat for you, very little words.

Growing up we knew no different, but I would be remiss if I didn’t share how I realized in elementary school just how little he spoke, when I would have sleepovers at friends’ houses. One girlfriend had a Dad who was always the life of our get-together. You knew it was her birthday party each year, as he would march through the house starting a Kongo line and yelling for us each to join in. Another friend’s Dad was such an integral part of her life, that he was the one we called in High School to pick us up outside dances and parties, and when we pilled in the car he would entertain and crack us up the whole way home.

My father was different.

We picked on him, and still do for his lack of words. With that said, I never questioned his love for me or involvement, because he showed his emotions through other means. When I would want to sit for hours with my Mom rehashing every detail of a major accomplishment, all I needed from Dad, was eye contact and a quick ‘proud of you’ and I was content. He attended every major high school football, soccer and basketball game… to watch me cheer on the sidelines. He made me learn to drive a stick shift and as I whined and pouted, “I cannot do this.” He gritted his teeth and yelled back, “Yes, you can.” Then on my 17th birthday, he woke me up extra early and said, ‘Let’s practice driving a manual again.” Only to lead me, from the passenger seat, to a local car dealership to test drive an automatic. Then as we pulled back in the dealership, he simply stated “Happy Birthday, Ashli.”

When I graduated from High School, I rushed around like an idiot trying to get ready for the big night so I could go meet my friends for a pre-ceremony celebration. As he tried to stop me multiple times in our home, I was too selfish to give the man who said so little any time of day. Then he slipped a piece of paper in my hand, and as I waited for my friends in a grocery store parking lot I cried like a baby at the hand written note he had given me, praising me and expressing his love.

My Dad had placed emphasis on me to be an architect, something to this day, I still regret not doing. Buying into his urging, we agreed I would attend the local college for one year and then transfer to the state university for Architectural school. When I fell in love with theater my freshman year of college, I unveiled my new plans to my Dad, on the stage of a state Beauty Pageant competition. As he sat in the crowd watching me, with a big button of my face, attached to his shirt, the announcer read the pre-submitted cue cards, in which mine stated, “A theatre major.” Shortly, after defeat and facing my father in the hotel hallway, he hugged me, kissed my forward, told me I should have won and quietly said, “theatre, huh?”

Then, when I fell in love and soon my wedding day starred us both in the face, he stayed in the background for pre-planning. Shining as the unsung hero who somehow was able to arrange a seating chart to accompany 175 people in a tiny red barn. As we lined up for the procession, and the violinist played softly in the background, I knew he sensed that I felt a bit faint and suddenly incoherent. I remember distinctly my father saying to the nearest bridesmaid, “Get her a glass of wine.” As, the bridal party walked out of the house and through the field to our wedding guests, we stayed back a moment longer. I sipped the wine and starred my father in the eyes. Little words. But a private moment I will always cherish.

I remember not to long ago someone said, “Your Dad does not speak much, but when he does, we all listen.”

I agreed, but while I always listened, I didn’t always appreciate. For that, I am sorry, Dad. But as I near 30 years old in August (Yikes!), I finally, finally do. My Dad has taught me the following about life.

America was built by hard working individuals, who made a lot of sacrifices in life for the betterment of others. Respect that and them, and more importantly honor that, by in turn giving your all every single day, always working hard.
Save your money! Gosh, I remember thinking I hated him for this. After ever birthday party, “Ebenezer Scrooge” would make a grand appearance, with a palm open. I would have to hand over any money I received as a gift and he would count it in front of me. Then promptly hand me back half. He would explain that the other half would go into my savings account he opened and would in turn be mine when I turned 18 years old. I remember crying. Screaming, “These are birthday gifts. You want the half of my Barbie too!” He really never argued back, more just walked away, but not without hearing me scream, “This is not fair!” (By the way, he kept his word, and at 18 years old, I received access to my account.) I miraculous, loved my father again!
Speaking of fair. He taught me just that… life is not and will never be fair. Learn it and accept it.
Sacrifice. With five kids, I sometimes to this day get mad at him for working so hard and sacrificing so much, and feel saddened that he truly doesn’t live. But, I am starting to believe that to him living means watching his five kids enjoy life and be happy.
Contribute to a 401k. Even if you make little to nothing and you think you need every dollar. Put something away for retirement.
That the best things in life are sweets! You can totally eat 12 cookies, a large piece of cake and a slice of pie in one seating! He does it all the time.
You can always get by in life with far less than you currently have.
You always, always have a choice in life. This was a recent, new, tough lesson from him. As tears rolled down my face over some tough decisions, he coldly told me, “You are not allowed to cry in front of me over this.” You are in control here. You have a choice.
Sometimes it is best to remain quiet. 🙂 That not everything needs your opinion.
And, finally his favorite line – “Accept what you can not change, change what you can not accept, and have the wisdom to know the difference.”

Powerful lessons from the man who would nod his head at the game scoring touchdown, vs leap off his stadium seat screaming. A man who bites his nail and mumbles a chuckle, while the rest of a room erupts in laughter over comic relief. A man who subtly tells you, “Drop the p,” when you hand him a card with “Grandpap” written on the front, to announce how he wants his first grandchild to address him.

You, see I grew up through this life with a man who spoke few words… but generated loud messages, loud lessons. It wasn’t until I became an adult and maybe even a parent that the weight of his quiet presence, all through my life, has been felt.

Thank you, Dad. Thank you for big lessons, tough love and your steady presence through my life. And, Happy Father’s Day!

Summertime Parenting Hacks

June 3, 2016

So, it rained about 22 of the last 30 days, but then Mother Nature was all like “Hey, hey Summertime, I am feeling ya,” and blessed us with some very warm, hot days.

No, I am not complaining! I promise. I have been longing for sunshine and warmth and sunshine oh, and warmth. You catch my drift?

But, let me let you in on a little secret… hot summer days with a toddler. Yep not the same, as pre-baby. I NEVER sit anymore. I chase. That is my new mode. I am in chasing mode. I also have sunscreen on my hip for the first sign of redness. My beers actually turn warm before I can finish, because I place them down to again, chase a toddler and then I forget where I put them. I get nervous about bare feet on wooden decks – splinters. Bare feet in lawns – bees. Bare feet in gravel – unidentifiable sharp objects. Basically I am a scaredy cat!

So, when I stumble across life hacks for parenting, I am all like, “Hallelujah! Can I get hellz yeah, Momma?!” And, then I high five myself. Let me indulge you.

1 – Toys On The Go
Source
Recycle and reuse your empty wipe containers as to-go, toy canisters for outdoor and on the go summer fun. Who cares if they get filled with sand, dropped in mud, dropped in a puddle. You can easily clean off and reuse.

2 – Mess-free PopsiclesSource
I find myself shivering at the thought of sticky, sugary juice melting in the hot summer sun, all over little hands. Yuck! Especially when you are outdoors and not near a public restroom. Double yuck! Pack cupcake tins during your next picnic. It will surely intrigue the kids and protect them and you from a sticky mess.

3 – Bug Free Drinks
Source
Yep, cupcake tins in for the win again. (Totally did not mean to rhyme there). Anyways, cover sugary, sweet drinks with a cupcake tin to protect bees and insects that stake their claim in your summertime beverage.

4 – Protect Your Phone

Always, always pack a zip lock baggie if the following equation is taking place. You + child + water = Disaster! I tend to throw my cell which also has a lifeproof case, in a zip lock baggie too. Maybe I am crazy? Overly cautious? Or all subconscious.

5 – Cool Off
Source
How cool is this? I am totally down for this during the hot summer months. Cut some sponges into cubes, string together and soak in cold water. Then when your little is hot, place around their neck, to naturally cool them off. If they are a baby or toddler, they may chew on the sponges which will help with their gums and cool them down.

6 – One-Stop-Shop Bag
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A one-stop-shop bag is a must! Band aids, Tide-to-Go and medicine, can each have their moment to shine this summer. So, let this bag do its job. Only, thing missing? Mommy’s tequila. Just kidding. Maybe?

7 – Mess Free Bubbles

I found this picture on Pinterest with no link. Boo! I even tried Google image search and it just showed Pinterest shares, but again no link. How smart is this? I mean I cringe at the thought of handing over the wand and tube to my bubble loving baby. She just lacks… grace, let’s say.

8 – Bug Free Sandbox
Source
So, I have no clue if this works, but you bet I am going to try it! Apparently, cinnamon keeps the bugs away, so once you sprinkle throughout the sandbox and stir, goodbye bugs, hello sweet smelling sand, oh, no – do not eat that, child!

9 – Keep the Baby Pool Clean
Source
Yeah, okay, so I needed this hack a week ago. We have filled and refilled the baby pool twice now. And, rain and pollen have dirtied the pool, yet again. Cover your baby pool with a fitted sheet to keep the water clean. There, done.

10 – Sand Removal
So apparently Baby Powder and sand, well they do not mix! This easy summertime hack is so simple! Just rub some powder between your hands and then rub across skin. Goodbye sand.

So, there you have it. Some summertime parenting hacks. Do you have some secrets to add to the list? If so, share in the comment section below.

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Wishes For My Little Girl

May 14, 2016

Oh, the many, many faces of my sweet, ornery little girl.

I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that my daughter is growing so very quickly, right before my eyes. Her personality is becoming defined. Temper tantrums are for real a thing that 100% exists. (Oh, and they do not wait until the clock strikes midnight and she turns from 1 to 2.) She is running, full fledged, running. She is nurturing and loves babies (no ideas, people). She is cognitive of her surroundings and picks up on verbiage and communication cues. She is growing. Out of clothes and shoes and cute PJ’s. Sometimes, Nathan will say, “Look at her. She looks like a ‘big’ kid now.” She is a Daddy’s girl 80% of the time and a Mommy’s in the mornings and late at night. She is hard headed and strong willed. I am in trouble. Her daddy is in trouble.

Most days I don’t allow my mind to trickle away to get ‘too deep.’ But, as we were cooped up inside for almost two fulls days due to rain and the return of cold air, my thoughts did wander. I look as this little lady who just seems to have a personality that is bursting at the seams and I can’t imagine who and what she will be.

And the truth is none of us know. I can only hope that the beauty of her blooms stronger and wilder as she grows (minus the whole temper tantrums) and that through example and faith, she is generous, happy and kind. I pray every night as I hold her tight, “Lord, let her be a happy, kind soul.” I pray that she always has a strong connection and relationship with Nathan and I. That she trusts us and that she lives life with God at her core.

It is all something unknown. All out of my control. All promised wishes and prayers, for the little crazy girl that steals my heart and changes my priorities with each passing day.

Have a great weekend, friends!

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What all the Mommas are saying…

May 5, 2016

So, a few weeks ago, I shared This Post. It was my Mother’s Day Gift Guide edition. While, I adore every single item on that post, I got to thinking, what do I really want for Mother’s Day and what would my own Momma want for Mother’s Day?

For me, it really isn’t about gifts. Instead, it is all about appreciation and love. That is it! And, we honestly do not do that enough for those we love the most. It really is a treat to get a day devoted to you. Then I thought, I have an AMAZING circle of Mommy Friends. AMAZING. Why not ask them?

Can I let you in on a secret? These Mommy Friends, and their answer, wow! They are raw, hysterical, honest and heartfelt. So, incredibly heartfelt.

I asked each mother the same question – “What do you really want for Mothers Day?”

“I want a day with just my husband and two babies, that he plans. I just want to be surprised, it doesn’t have to be fancy! A hike or homemade dinner. Just something that I don’t have to plan.”
– You hear that? Simple. Lovely. Appreciated. By, the way Mommy S. and I go way back. We don’t talk near as much as I would love to but she is handling a career and two little girls, one that is just a few months old, with such beauty, grace and ease. She does not realize how much I have always admired her and all her awesomeness.

“Hmmmm that’s tricky. So many options. 😝 I’d have to say a maid!”
Yes, Mother KP, I agree. I would add a cook for a day too! What a treat. Mother KP has become my virtual friend. We have never met but started a friendship through Instagram! See this is why I love blogging. I meet so many awesome, strong, women. It empowers me, when I meet women like Mother KP. She is a fabulous individual.VIEW STORY »

Motherhood And Accepting Change

May 2, 2016

Probably one of the hardest things we are asked to do in life is accept change.

Sometimes, I think Motherhood is all about that. Our ability as human beings to accept and handle change.

As a female it begins the moment two pink lines appear. Suddenly, you have changed. Life has changed. No more drinking wine. No sushi. No deli meat. Forget a hot dog. No Cinco de Mayo festivities. Who needs sleep? Loved those jeans? Yep. They no longer fit. Invest in belly bands. You will pee. A lot. All of a sudden stretch marks appear. No, you can’t see your toes. You can no longer breathe. Water breaks. Pain like ever before. You will be amazed the female body is made to do that. Nothing is the same. Your body has forever changed.

VIEW STORY »

The New American Dream

April 29, 2016

Lately I have found myself thinking about the American Dream.

When I think about that term, the image that typically comes to mind is one similar to the image below.

A smiling, well dress, well behaved, quite near perfect looking family. The funny thing is I Googled, “The American Dream Family” and these are the images that popped up.

Yep, all the same and completely 100% stereotypical, really. The American Dream was ultimately about success. Rising from poverty to defeat all barriers set before them to raise children, buy a home and emerge to a “comfort” status that was once the markings of success, contentment and happiness. The wish to set forth and make a life that was better than your parents. But, even that dream scenario, predates the images pictured above.

The American Dream was about opportunity and more importantly, hard work. It was about getting married, buying a home, starting a family, rising in status (whether that be corporately or socially or both) and living a comfortable life. To me the definition was defined by achieving successes within one’s life.

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I’m Social Media & Technology Obsessed & I Refuse to Apologize For it & Here is Why

April 16, 2016

Recently I was asked for a baby photo of myself. It took me two weeks to find one. Two weeks! My mother had taken the time many years ago to sort her five children’s photos into collections for each of us to have. I think she quickly realized that my baby sister Liv, who is 15 years younger than me, ultimately, had the largest collection of us all, both in quantity and quality of the photos. I on the other hand maybe had five to ten hard copy photos from my first year, and I was her first child! I take that many pictures of Lo, per day!

I always have my cell phone nearby. In my hand, on my hip, in my purse. I am ready to snap a picture or shoot video. “Wait, I need a picture” or “Hold on, let me grab my phone.”

Eyes roll. My husband will yell, “Do you always have to be on your phone?” I am certain those around me consider me “social media and technology obsessed.” They are right. I am.

My biggest fear in life is that I will forget moments in time. I am scared I will forget memories with Lo or Nathan, or anyone or anything that makes me happy for that matter. I worry, that over time the story that I am writing will become blurry. Honestly, that is why I love this Blog and Social Media so very much. It allows me to capture these moments in time, that somehow I know my brain cannot and will not always remember, process and present back.

They say, “memories last forever,” but already I feel like my story of Lo’s birth is cloudy in sections, and to this day I so regret not paying the extra money for a videographer for my wedding, or heck just setting a video camera on a tripod in the corner of the room. The sad reality is memories don’t last forever.

During my wedding day, I can’t for the life of me remember who all was in the house as I got ready. I forget the speeches. In fact, just last night, I asked my sister, “Do you have your speech written down? Can I see it, again?” I forget what and if Nathan said anything to me at the end of the aisle, I forget the drinks on the menu, heck, I forget the menu. I forget the moves to this dance with my father, as we surprised the guests with our father daughter dance.

For Lo’s birth, I don’t remember the details as clearly as I did before, as I recall now how my labor progressed. I forget the faces of the nurses in recovery. I cannot remember how many tries it took for Lo to start breastfeeding properly. I forget the meal other than Subway, I made Nathan rush out to buy me (I was in the hospital for a few days). I forget the first night home with Lo, other than it was a blizzard outside and we ate KFC Chicken Pot Pies.

The memories do not last forever. I can guarantee you that. However, one thing does and that is the way you feel in a moment.

I know for certain, my wedding day was 100% a fairy tale because I can remember the pure joy and excitement surrounding it. I remember the fun and that my face hurt from smiling. I remember the love in the room and among my guests. I remember the excitement and the happiness with my Dad after we danced that dance pictured above. I remember how I never wanted the day to end and I remember that Sunday morning when I woke up, there was a pit in my stomach because it was over.

With, Lo, I remember the night my water broke in our kitchen and Nathan rushed around the house preparing for the hospital, showering and cutting his hair! All while, I nervously paced the hallway. I remember the anxiety that grew as I watched the clock and yelled, “I think we need to go now!” I remember the fear when we started the car and the gas light came on and I swore this baby was going to be delivered en route on the side of the road. I remember I was in pain but not the pain itself. I remember the fear when the Doctor was called for an emergency c-section. I remember the panic of surgery. Then, more than anything I remember the burst of happiness and explosion of love when I saw Lo. I remember the feeling of overwhelming joy, and the emotion that is so big you cry tears of happiness.

And, I just bring up these two examples, because they were both two of the happiest days of my life. Two days, I always thought I would remember forever. But, nearly four years after my wedding and a year and a half after my baby’s birth. Details fade. Memories fade.

Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

How very true in general for life? You will forget the details and memories in the moments. You will forget the funny thing your toddler said that you swore to yourself you would never forget because it was that funny. You will forget the hurtful words you and your spouse said to each other during your first real, dirty fight. And, if you are like me, you will forget the words of your Maid of Honor speech on your wedding day and you will forget the first outfit you put on your newborn baby girl. But, you won’t forget how your chest hurt as you fought back tears listening to your sweet sister read her speech on your wedding day and you won’t forget the sigh and sense of peace when you first smelled the head of your newborn baby girl resting on your chest.

So, when I do want to take a walk down memory lane, I have this corner of the web for my story. I have my Facebook and Instagram Feeds. I have a cell phone to flip through and photos saved on my computer. I don’t despise technology and social media. I do not feel like it is “ruining our worlds.” I do not feel like it is “replacing social interaction.” In fact, I argue it enhances. It allows me to snap pictures, moments, details that I will and do forget. When I look at my personal collection of baby photos compared to Lo’s while the story is not richer or fuller, because of the technology today, she and maybe more so, I, have a strong collection of memories to reminisce upon.

At the end of the day, call me social media and technology obsessed. I do not care nor will I argue. While my heart holds all the feels from these special days my cell phone and social media contain glimpses and moments in time that are a part of our story.

Snap away, friends!

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