So, a few weeks ago, I shared This Post. It was my Mother’s Day Gift Guide edition. While, I adore every single item on that post, I got to thinking, what do I really want for Mother’s Day and what would my own Momma want for Mother’s Day?
For me, it really isn’t about gifts. Instead, it is all about appreciation and love. That is it! And, we honestly do not do that enough for those we love the most. It really is a treat to get a day devoted to you. Then I thought, I have an AMAZING circle of Mommy Friends. AMAZING. Why not ask them?
Can I let you in on a secret? These Mommy Friends, and their answer, wow! They are raw, hysterical, honest and heartfelt. So, incredibly heartfelt.
I asked each mother the same question – “What do you really want for Mothers Day?”
“I want a day with just my husband and two babies, that he plans. I just want to be surprised, it doesn’t have to be fancy! A hike or homemade dinner. Just something that I don’t have to plan.”
– You hear that? Simple. Lovely. Appreciated. By, the way Mommy S. and I go way back. We don’t talk near as much as I would love to but she is handling a career and two little girls, one that is just a few months old, with such beauty, grace and ease. She does not realize how much I have always admired her and all her awesomeness.
“Hmmmm that’s tricky. So many options. 😝 I’d have to say a maid!”
Yes, Mother KP, I agree. I would add a cook for a day too! What a treat. Mother KP has become my virtual friend. We have never met but started a friendship through Instagram! See this is why I love blogging. I meet so many awesome, strong, women. It empowers me, when I meet women like Mother KP. She is a fabulous individual.
“I suppose a good mom would respond with, ‘Nothing. I have everything I need.’ 😊 But I want to be heard. I want a day where my voice matters as much as everyone elses in the house. I want beds made, laundry put away and chores checked off the list without having to nag, yell or bribe. And I want presents… not expensive gifts ordered by my husband that the kids don’t know about. I want handmade cards and little things from my babies. A ‘little hug’ jug still sits on my windowsill covered in fading squares of tissue paper as a makeshift vase containing a faded yellow silk flower that was made for me when my big boy was in kindergarten… he’s now finishing his 8th grade year.”
– RESPECT (Sing it in your Aretha voice!). Mrs. P, always has a way with words, doesn’t she? I love it though. She wants what she wants because she gives, gives and gives all year long. And, let me just tell you a little bit about what she gives. This lady and her family are God loving, arms and heart wide open souls, who have not only adopted one but two babies. Their story is one of hope and inspiration.
“For Mother’s Day I would like an entire day to do anything I want. Sleep in, go to the spa, etc. I don’t want any time frames, alarm clocks, deadlines, daycare or rushing around. I love my family dearly but a day to refresh and recharge would be what this mom would like.”
Miss TC is a new Mommy! I love watching her journey unfold. We both have little girls a few months a part. Through my motherhood journey, Miss TC and I have reconnected. Private messaging each other over sleepless nights, transferring from pack n’ play to crib, daycare and the dreaded, return to work after maternity leave. Since she is a few months behind me, I went through it all first and I love sharing our journeys together. The day she returned to work, my heart broke in a thousand pieces and I could feel the raw pain. But, you know what? She persevered and survived and LOVES what she does. She is a happy, loving career Momma with so much going for her.
“What I really want for Mother’s Day? To sleep in, coffee in bed and a day of PJs and baby girl snuggles. (Basically I want to do nothing… all day!)”
– Hey, there Lady K, I feel you! Actually, you are speaking my Mother’s Day love language. This Momma has all my admiration. We met in college and actually worked together in the Theatre and Dance office for awhile. She has an amazing wellness business that she has launched and is living a dream that allows her a beautiful work-life balance. Plus, she is just so darn positive and a happy, uplifting soul!
“I would like to spend a little time with my family while nobody looks into the screen of a mobile device. Not for even a minute. Not to look up an answer for something somebody wonders about or to check the score of a ballgame or to scroll through a newsfeed looking at so many laments from sons and daughters who wish their mamas were still here. I’d like us to sit quietly in the wonder of living, looking at the skyline, eating fried chicken from paper plates after church, laughing at the little ones and realizing that no moment will ever be quite like this one again. (And then when the darlings leave with a trail of destruction lingering across the floor of my good living room, I’d like to step blissfully over it and enjoy a good granny nap!)”
– Mrs. B, seriously? How don’t you read this and want to grab her and hug her? You can’t do it! You have to want to hug her. She is one of the sweetest, welcoming humans I know. I love her posts on social media. She has a beautiful way with words and a beautiful family to squeeze, love and eat fried chicken with!
“I want some young mother looking at her new baby and worrying that she’s not good enough, to know that despite all of the bullshit social media and Pinterest tries to cram down our throats, she is good enough, and she does measure up. And to her baby that she thinks will eventually need therapy because of her, that just like her child is her whole world, she is that child’s whole world. I want her to know they can muddle through life together and that it will all be alright. For example, the letter circulating from the woman buying formula at Target, written to the girl who judged her. It bothers me that she felt like she even had to justify doing what everyone said is best for her baby to anyone. But we have created that culture and social media just fuels it.”
– My nickname, for this participating Mom is Tell-It-Like-It-Is Mom S. That is a long name, so I will call her Mom S. I reached out to Mom S. because she is an absolute belly laugh, all the time. Her comments are hysterical and to the point. I honestly thought she was going to be my chuckle out loud post contributor but she went deep on me and I loved it. While, she still tells it like it is, I felt her genuine concern and care for others and thought how powerful that when I asked what she wanted for Mother’s Day she turned it to guiding other Mommys!
“A ‘meltdown free’ day! And, of course, lots of X’s and O’s.”
– I only have one child and I feel ya, Mamacita S, I feel ya! Mamacita S and I go way back. Like way, way back. First grade. Barbies. I do not see her enough nor do we chat like I would love to but she is one of those people in my life that I know would be there in two seconds if I asked. She and I always, always pick up where we left off and I love that about her. She has two gorgeous littles and I know she is one heck of a mom!
“The one thing I would like for Mother’s Day is some ‘down’ time, where I don’t have to think, plan or anything. I can finish the book I’ve been trying to finish for forever. That sounds awful seeing it’s ‘Mother’s’ Day, but I feel like I’m always on the run and having to think ahead, I just want some mindless quiet time for myself.”
– Mommy DB just had her first baby, so this is her very first Mother’s Day. Happy, happy day to you! I first met Mommy DB in college. We traveled across the country together. Thank goodness for social media because I can watch her beautiful life unfold and see the new spark in her eyes with every family picture she posts of her and her sweet baby boy.
“I feel like a lot of people would say ‘not have to cook’ or ‘a nap,’ which is nice because they are not material things, but I selfishly do want a material thing. Some may say it’s a weird material thing, but whatever. I want a ring that is made from my breast milk. I struggled so much in the beginning with breastfeeding, and I struggled so much at the end (more emotionally than anything). But she never had a drop of formula and that was important to me. I am NOT judgmental in any way of people who formula feed! I just wanted breastfeeding to work for us. I wanted something to symbolize our journey and to remind me that motherhood is full of struggles and heartache but it is the most rewarding job in the world and worth every bit of it!”
– Mrs. Mom H (are you all liking my code names yet?) was real as real can be. I loved her truthfulness with me. Point blank this is what I want. I was so curious though what she was referring to, and she shared This Site with me. I think it is one of the most unique, raw, thoughtful and loving gifts you could give someone. Especially someone who went through her journey. Who valued the importance, and who obviously viewed it much more than ‘feeding your baby’. This is so symbolic to motherhood. Thank you, Mrs. Mom H for sharing! You are amazing.
“Sleep and Sunshine.”
– Mama Herm. Short and sweet and I expected nothing less from her. She cracks me up though! Mama Herm has her hands full with sweet, beautiful, young babies that I love and adore. While I know, she is exhausted, and has not slept for three years, I know her heart is full and she is incredibly blessed.
“So, all I truly ever wanted in life was to have children and be a mom. It’s the absolute best thing in the world. I am blessed beyond measure and I thank God everyday. What I want for Mother’s Day isn’t a gift, a relaxing or pampering day but rather a day to reflect on the three blessings I have. Getting to talk and spend time together is at the top of my list. I must at least talk to each one! Preparing a family meal for everyone would also be at the top of my list as that includes kitchen prep time together, grilling and deck time together and overall quality time together. If I had to list one wish that would be for my children to continue to live a healthy, happy life. Honestly all I have ever wanted.”
– I have known Momma Candy (she will get this!) for a long, long time. In fact, her and my own Momma go way back. I think they even share stories of spying on boys at parties, if I recall. This lady answered exactly how I thought she would. It is so evident that her three BEAUTIFUL kids are her world. It is evident in the way she talks about them and the way she interacts with them. She was right when she said, all she ever wanted to be in life was a Mom. She did it and she does it well.
“When it comes to Mothers Day, I think of what to get my own mom and your TuTu (that is what we call my paternal grandmother). I never usually think of myself. But all I really want is to have all my kids under one roof at the same time, if only for a little bit.”
– I ended with my own Momma. My sweet, selfless, kindhearted Momma. Who even when I asked, “What do you really want for Mother’s Day?” answered that her mind was somewhere else, thinking of others. And, that is just who she is. Caring, loving and put on this earth to be a Mom and now a Grandma. I love you!
How beautiful are these women? I honestly reached out to a handful of women thinking I was going to get the same answer. I actually never imagined their candidness and the heart behind their response. I don’t know why I doubted a Mother. I have learned that there is no greater love in the world, than that of a Mother. And, I only learned that after becoming a Mom myself.
This Mother’s Day there will be excited, joyful first-time mommies; Mothers at their wits-end with a home full of little kids. There will be children who are mourning this holiday, mourning for their mother who has recently passed. Children who have gone more Mother’s Day without a Mom than with, but the pain will never go away. There will be Mothers with adult children and homes full of grandchildren and even great. There will be women who have only been a mom to a baby in the womb. Who never got to hold that child past a certain stage. There will be pain. Pain from women, who won’t be able to bring themselves to smile or celebrate as the day is marked with sadness over the loss of a child. There will be children and even adults that never had a present mother and celebrate a grandma, an aunt, a friend who raised them as a mother would. There will be all these emotions and more this Sunday. So, wherever you fall on the spectrum, know you have my absolute admiration. Being a Mom can be a thankless job. But is 100% worth it.
And, to the Mommy’s who lent me their words. Please know you inspired me. My heart burst with pride knowing I share a title in this world with you, and that is the title MOM.