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Backwards N High Heels

Balancing work and play while wearing many hats (I mean heels).

Because In This World… You Are Those People

November 20, 2018

You Are Those People - BackwardsNHighHeels Blog - Family
There are people in this world that make our heart full… you are those people.

The ones we can argue with one moment, then run and hug the next. Those whose buttons we can easily push and know full well how and why we are doing this. Ones where “I am sorry” flows so much more easily. The people who we know how to rattle yet love fiercely, you are those people.

The ones who make every moment count. Those special times in our lives when you look up and hope to see them there, savoring the sweetest of life with you. The ones who you are certain the phrase, ‘save the best for last’ was indeed written for. When meaningful moments feel all too magical because they are around, you are those people.

The ones who great distances could never separate. Where no challenge – big or small could come in the way of you and them. In the darkness of the night, in the freshness of morning, when the time on the clock does not matter because you would go to any length and do anything for, you are those people.

The ones who find it in their heart and soul to forgive and forget. Who knows that your mistakes never define you and are always there to catch your falls and hit restart with you. Ones who will fight your battles alongside you and provide support so you can stand back up on your own two feet and hold your head high, you are those people.

The ones who make us cry with sadness from heartbreak, or who fill our hearts with joy from contentment. Who somehow have the magical power to make us feel what they feel in an instant. The ones who we absorb life through. When they feel, we feel, and when we feel, they feel through us too, you are those people.

The ones who make this one and only life count. Who fill every ounce of our hearts and soul with gratefulness and thanks to God. Ones who you would perhaps even lay your own life down for. The ones who when all that is left or matters in this life is those who stand beside you, extend their hand, and you hold tightly, you are those people.

— And, may you find the strength and love to share this message with your people. —

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Leave a Comment CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels Blog, Backwards N High Heels, BackwardsNHighHeels, Family, Gratitude, Life, Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Stories of Motherhood

We Are Hustlin

August 5, 2016

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I dedicate this Blog to all the hustlers out there. Can I get a “whoop, whoop”?

No, but seriously, this is for all my ladies. Being a Mom is hard, tiring work.

I know, I know, being a Dad is too, please don’t private message me and comment that I am excluding fathers. I get it, but actually, in reality, I don’t, because I am Momma, so I am focusing this on motherhood.

If you asked me to describe my current situation it would be exhausted. I swear I am always exhausted. All day. Every day. I am frustrated and I am definitely lacking patience. Some days by 8:30 am, I feel like I have already given my all. Living out a 24-hour day when we have only been up for two hours. O.M.G.

Lo has reached the pre-terrible two’s, which I fully support is a legit thing. She throws herself into a back bend, when I open the car door to place her in her car seat. She lashes out and thrashes about. Digging the back of her head into the seat rest and scooting her body fast off the edge. I would imagine it looks like I am trying to wrangle an animal in the back seat of my car.

Right now “No.” Is her favorite, and may I add annoying choice word. It never is said once. It is usually accompanied by a “No, No, No, NOOOO!” So, it is super positive up in here.

We meltdown. Usually when Mom and / or Dad have not fed her on cue. Hangry is what it is and I know all about it because I personally suffer from it as well. Meltdowns can occur anywhere these days. And, usually it is in the most public places when you feel like every other human walking by is judging you and just watching how you will best handle.

I have one child. I get that when I complain about being tired, or exhausted (an extreme of tired), that the Mommies of multiples probably raise an eyebrow or roll eyes. I get having more than one child is another layer of motherhood that I know nothing about. My mommy friends with plus ones, probably talk about me not being able to hang or handle one. Heck, I myself question my ability for another child, when I feel as tired as I do with one.

Motherhood is a full-time, around the clock job. It is really that. We are working first, second and third shifts. Plus, handling all other responsibilities that existed pre-baby. We are hustlin.

I work full-time but really much more than a typical 40-hour work week. It is demanding and at many times, completely overwhelming.

Days begin super early and by the time I have disconnected myself from Lo and have transitioned into career woman mode, I feel as if I myself have been completely depleted. While I drive my hour commute to work, I try so hard to use the time to decompress and switch my mentality towards work and looming projects, but the reality is, when you are a mommy, it is something you cannot “turn off.”

In the workforce, there is an expression often used, “Leave your personal problems at home and focus on work.” I grew a child inside me for 9 months, I delivered a human, I live and breath her wants and needs, sometimes I cannot “turn it off.” When we started showing signs before the one-year mark of becoming mobile, I found myself daydreaming throughout the day of her taking her first steps without me (which she did). When we have had a sleepless night due to teething or a cold, I am either 1) sleep deprived or 2) wondering if she is napping or eating well for the sitter.

In the evenings, once I pick up Lo, sometimes I want to cry at the thought of not being able to “chill.” Especially if my day has been long and stressful. It is full-speed ahead until Lo finally crashes. There is dinner to be made, sometimes a trip to the grocery store for said dinner ingredients, a diaper bag to be packed, a bath to be had and a whole ritual of a bedtime routine. “Me time” which use to exist every night prior to Lo, is now nonexistent.

Recently, I asked a girlfriend if this exhaustion was normal or maybe I just suck at time management. Why do I feel like I am frustrated? She really put into perspective for me when she explained that as mothers we just have this innate need to handle everything. Work responsibilities, extended family needs, keeping the house tidy, meal planning, grocery runs, dinner prep, lunches packed, appointments scheduled, bills paid, and the list goes on.

We are hustlers. Our minds never stop. Once a child was born we developed a new sense for multitasking on both physical and mental levels. Super human if you will. You can be prepping dinner, drawing a bath, checking over a kid’s homework and pouring a glass of wine in two minutes top. It is like you can’t shut it off. And, the only time you do, is when you shut your eyes to sleep, but by golly, that is the moment your child screams out for you.

It is tiring. It is rewarding. I will say it again though, it is tiring. Some days I want to sleep. Some days just screaming will do. I know one thing, I am not alone. Too many good Mommas are too out there hustlin hard to provide for their families financially, emotionally, physically and often not described or said enough – lovingly.

So, while I will still complain because one day can seem harder than the next, I also send my love out there to you. Because I know you understand me and even most likely are feeling these same emotions too.

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1.5 Staring At Me

June 20, 2016

There you are, my sweet baby girl.
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Those big blues, get me every time. How has time flown? How are you running and chasing and climbing and talking? I always heard other parents exclaim, “Cherish every moment. Time will fly by.”

I never believed them. How could it be? A month sometimes felt like forever, and a year an eternity. But, now that I have you I see, understand and feel time. The tick tock that echos in my mind.

You have a personality. Ornery at its best. You make us laugh and smile. You keep us on our toes with your energetic ways. Never too tired. Never content with the same thing, but always, always on the go. Up and down and literally all around. Yesterday, you mimicked my ways and hid on the opposite of the bed waiting to “roar” as I walked by. Sometimes you leave me quite awe-struck at your little brain and the way you pick things up.

You are smart. Counting to 10 on cue and proudly announcing the color “Blue!” when detected. Surpassing “Where are your eyes? Noes? Ears?” and now identifying your shoulders and elbows! You absorb at the highest.

Your temper tantrums intensify. And, patience not yet your virtue. But, maybe not mine yet either, so you get it honestly. Sorry.

Your smile. Those crazy “big kid” teeth that seem to sprout like a well watered bloom and that crazy giggle gets your Daddy and I every time.

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All decked in your Sunday best, you just want “down!” to run, to explore, to see the world and take it in. I have made a mental pact with myself to never buy you white anymore. It just gets ruined. You live in the moment like all kids do. Spotting a fluttering butterfly and chasing. Hearing a crackling in the woods and looking up at me before taking off to the tree line. It is refreshing and lovely.

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The true ‘apple of our eye.’ You are loved more than you know and can easily comprehend. For you are the reason I smile every day. You are the reason I am proud of me.

1.5 years old and staring me in the face. My goodness, what a sweet wonderful world  you are.

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What Is The Best Advice Your Dad Has Given To You

June 19, 2016

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” – Jim Valvano

During Mother’s Day, I reached out to a handful of friends and asked them to contribute to my Blog. You can read that Here. The whole process was so enlightening and inspiring that I decided to do the same for Dads, but switch it up a bit.

On Friday, I shared This Post. It was a tribute to my own father. A man that I do not thank or appreciate enough. This morning I awoke, kissed my husband and told him “Happy Father’s Day,” opened Facebook and found out that one of my friends lost her husband last night. He a father, a great father, I witnessed him in action. My heart broke and the sudden heaviness on my chest seemed much more overwhelming as I sat and thought about his children who would awaken this morning without the earthly presence of their Dad. While I pray for them today and send positive thoughts out to the universe, I know so many of you too will read this Blog as a “fatherless child.”

I do not know your pain. I do not know the emptiness you feel. Whether it be a sudden loss, a father who has passed for many years, a father who is alive but you are estranged from, know that today while you pass the greeting card aisle, see a family out at breakfast, open Facebook to a flood of messages and pictures, know that I am thinking of you.

Those who are blessed to still have their Dad with them today, please call him, visit him or send him a text. Say “I love you,” say “I appreciate you” and please say “thank you.”

As a mother, I know the sacrifices and love I make for my child. Watching my husband with her, well the love and sacrifices he makes for our family is equally as tremendous. And, also as a parent, I finally feel like a fog is lifted from my eyes and I see just how much my parents have given through the years and how incredibly their love has been.

So today, Happy Father’s Day Friends and to my Blog contributors – Thank you.


I asked each friend below to answer the following:

“What is the best advice your Dad has given to you?”

The answers, well, you just have to read!


Fathers-Day_BackwardsNHighHeels_Blog 4“When asked ‘What is the best advice your Dad has ever given you?’ I really didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t think of a time when my dad sat me down and said, ‘Here is some advice to live by.’ The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my dad has given me a lifetime of advice without saying a word. The whole, “actions speak louder than words” rings true. In my life, my dad has advised me to work hard for every single penny you have, that those same pennies mean nothing at the end of the day, to make good on your promises even when jumping ship feels like the easy way out, to be true to yourself and never apologize for that, to admit it when you are wrong, to always say you’re sorry, to never settle for ‘good enough,’ to always help those in need, and to laugh like heck every step of the journey. My Daddy has never had to give me any advice, I’ve always been blessed to watch his actions and simply know, this is how you live.” – Mallory


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“My Dad gave advice by example. He would tell me to be kind, sensitive to others, generous and do what’s right. Of course, that’s how he lives his life. The best advice he gave my brother, ‘I don’t care if you want to dig ditches the rest of your life. Just be the best ditch digger you can be.’ And, I have to share two from my husband’s Dad, ‘Don’t ever get a financial advisor. If they know so much about money, they’d be retired.’ And, my favorite, on the occasion of our first date, ‘Just remember, pick your nose with your right hand and scratch your butt with your left.’ That man was a character.’ – Michaela



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“My Dad and I are cut from the same cloth. The older I get, the more similarities I find. As you can see from the picture and our incredible sense of style, lol. My Dad is the most inspirational man on the planet. He dreams big, fights for what he believes in and never gives up. All while maintaining a big belly laugh that makes you feel at home every time you hear it. I call him the “Big Fish” because he reminds me so much of Dad from the movie, “The Big Fish.” The best advice he ever gave me, and there have been some gems, is that ‘Failure is not an option.’ Anytime I was afraid of making a leap of faith in life, love, or business he would just tell me to believe and that if I believe, I can’t fail, then anything is possible. He is 100% right. Anytime the “what if” worry trolls start to creep in I just repeat that phrase and know that I can overcome and find success. I love this man more everyday and feel honored to call him my Father, my mentor, and one of my best friends.” – Coty



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“Okay, it was hard to choose what the best advice has been since all of his advice has helped to shape who I am but I’ll go with this. My Papa many times has said, ‘Live your life honestly, be true to those you love and always follow what it is that makes you who you are. (…and clean your room!).’ Ha! He’s our favorite storyteller, a forever friend, and our hero!” – Deanna



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Look out there…
“My father was a large man.  My mother referred to him as a ‘gentle giant.’ His large posture and huge hands had many young suitors of his daughter’s shaking in their shoes. I was the youngest of his five children and due to the large age gap from my closest sibling, quite possibly an “Oops!”  I was; however, definitely daddy’s little girl. I remember my dad taking me kicking and screaming in his big, strong arms and walking me calmly into the Atlantic Ocean. He finally stopped waist deep and told me to stop crying and ‘look out there.’ I did and it was amazing. A few years later he took me on a Ferris Wheel. Once again, I was screaming because we were stuck at the top.  He giggled softly and told me to take my hands away from my face and ‘look out there.’  I did and it was awesome. Fast forward to my teens and my father was teaching me to drive.  Half way through the stressful lesson when all I did was stare at the road, he placed his hand on my shoulder and told me to ‘look out there.’ I did and it was easier. I didn’t realize it at the time but my father didn’t want me to live my life with my head down.  He didn’t want me to be too scared, too serious or too focused. He wanted me to stop worrying and enjoy the people, places and experiences around me no matter how big or small. I still struggle to follow his advice in my busy life. I do find that I have missed a lot because I didn’t ‘look out there.’ But I will be forever grateful that he told me to ‘look out there’ and I hope I can pass this advice on to my children.” – Joy


“My Dad was an amazing, amazing man. I know many people will say this today, especially since its Father’s Day and I’m sure they mean it also, but anyone who knew my Dad will tell you this is absolutely true. I don’t know of one person that did not like him nor do I know of anyone that he disliked. I never heard him speak a harsh word about anyone. In my entire life I never saw him mad or angry. I don’t know of any other person I can say that about. He was so kind and compassionate. He chose to talk about the good in people. He had patience beyond words. He was never to busy for you. He gave you his undivided attention. I’ll tell you a little story about this. My Dad use to work on his vehicles in his garage. A little neighborhood boy whose father had died would come down to his house and for hours would lay on the ground with my Dad under his car asking questions. ‘What’s this? What’s that? What does this do? What does that do?’ On, and on. My Dad explained everything in great detail to him. My Mom would say to my Dad, ‘How can you stand that day after day? All those same questions?’ My Dad would reply, ‘It’s ok, Honey, he just needs someone to talk to. He’s just lonely.’ My Dad was a very funny guy also. He loved to play jokes on people. He loved to scare the living day lights out of you. I can still hear his laugh. He was a huge Washington Redskins fan. He loved picnics, amusement parks and especially riding the roller coasters. He loved going camping with his kids and grandkids. Sometimes spending the entire summer at the river with his family. Christmas was his favorite holiday. He was like a sorcerer working his magic. When we were kids the tree was never brought into the house until we were all in bed on Christmas Eve. By morning it looked like a mystical, magical farmland. The tree decorated from top to bottom and a Christmas yard under the tree that was so detailed it looked like a live village. There were houses, churches, stores and roads made from coal dust. A train that ran on a track (THIS ONE IS FOR YOU, ASHLI) a mirror for a pond. Still to this day, I don’t know how he got it all done in one night. He was a Veteran. He served in the Army during World War II. He was loyal. He kept the same friends he served in the war with his entire life. He was a honest, hard working man that never missed a day of work. He was a Christian and he put God and his family above everything. His parenting skills surpass all others. He taught us to love unconditionally and we learned this by following his example. Oh! By the way, he always smelled so good! I still have a bottle of his after shave lotion. Sometimes I open it up and just breath the scent of him in and at that moment I know he’s right here beside me. The one thing he taught me, and I learned this by his example, was to love unconditionally. I hope I have passed this down to my kids and grandkids. There is a song that says, “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” If this was my Dad’s song, it would say “I’d like to teach the world to love in perfect harmony.” HAPPY FATHERS DAY DADDY! Love you!” – Pat (my Meema)
How beautiful? Again, thank you to my special Blog contributors. Much love to you! And, to you all, no matter where your heart feels today, I send you virtual hugs and love.

Enjoyed this post?  Awe, thanks. I am blushing.  We can connect through facebook || twitter|| instagram || pinterest ||  bloglovin’

Leave a Comment CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, BackwardsNHighHeels, Dad, Fanily, Father, Father's Day, Fatherhood, Lessons, Life, Parenting

Motherhood And Accepting Change

May 2, 2016

Probably one of the hardest things we are asked to do in life is accept change.

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Sometimes, I think Motherhood is all about that. Our ability as human beings to accept and handle change.

As a female it begins the moment two pink lines appear. Suddenly, you have changed. Life has changed. No more drinking wine. No sushi. No deli meat. Forget a hot dog. No Cinco de Mayo festivities. Who needs sleep? Loved those jeans? Yep. They no longer fit. Invest in belly bands. You will pee. A lot. All of a sudden stretch marks appear. No, you can’t see your toes. You can no longer breathe. Water breaks. Pain like ever before. You will be amazed the female body is made to do that. Nothing is the same. Your body has forever changed.

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2 Comments CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, BackwardsNHighHeels, Being A Mom, Changing, Children Change You, Life, Mom Life, Motherhood, Parenting

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