This world is crazy. After the tragic and terrifying events from the past weekend in Paris, I find myself turning on the news often, just to turn it off because it disgusts me and scares me at the same time.
I really try to find the good out there. But, when the TV, radio, social media and chatter is ever consumed by the doom and despair, pictures of horrors, stories of sadness, it is hard. Yes, sometimes it is hard to find the good in the world.
Not to get all sappy, but when I look at her, I see it.
The good shines so brightly through her. And, I am sure you can find something or someone in your life at this very moment to relate. But, my baby, my goodness, she makes me smile in .02 seconds after witnessing some of the most horrific scenes on TV. She is the good.
Each night when I rock her to sleep. After her bottle, after some cuddles, once she has settled in and sighs and drifts to sleep, I pray for her. I pray on her behalf I should say.
The prayer has some ritual to it. I pray to be a good Mom. I pray for the guilt I feel daily for not being home with her. I pray for forgiveness when minutes earlier I lost my cool and became frustrated. I pray to be better.
The prayer continues with thankfulness for her being ours. I kiss her hundreds of times it feels as I rock her silently and thank Him for bringing her in my life and for her health and happiness. I pray she will grow up strong. I pray she will value honesty and hard work. I pray she will be respectful. I pray she will always grow up with God a part of her life and in her heart. But, then the prayer turns.
I sit in the darkness with her in my arms and I think about all the bad, terrible news we encounter each day. And, recently, with the acts of terror in Paris.
Prior to having a baby, so often I would hear, “Why would anyone bring a child into this world?” Not once did such a question leave me questioning the decision to have a baby and now that she is here, never do I think about this statement. Never.
Why? Because she is the absolute good and light in a world with darkness. She is my happiness to any fear. Thank goodness, no thank God for her! I don’t fear her life in a scary world because I pray she will be a good person, with God at her core. I pray she gives back, that kindness always wins. I pray that she loves strongly and deeply and that her love shines and inspires others. I pray she will be a part of a change in this world, the good this world so desperately needs.
Dear God… I see the good in this world. I am holding her in my arms.