I am a pretty impatient person.
It is my downfall and the one characteristic that I know I posses that needs a little love and attention. You know some emotional massaging. I did not become impatient overnight. It developed over the years as a result of my environment. Working in a “high-demand,” customer-focused position, sense of urgency is quite simply a protocol and necessary for success. With this “go, go, go” attitude and way of life, I have become someone who demands the same from my co-workers, peers and even family (oh, poor Nathan and Baby Lo!).
So, what does this mean? Well an impatient person translates into someone who is always mentally and physically rushing on to the next thing. Time shall not be wasted. When I am committed to a cause, in the moment and have a clear objective, a hiccup can frustrate the heck out of me.
Working late most days than not, I seized the possibility to leave work on time this past week. To get home to see my little girl and spend time with my husband. The thought was pure bliss.
Grabbing my belongings, and rushing out the door, I started my car to drive home in the rain. Anxiously I called my husband and announced, “Hey, guess what? I will be on time tonight!” Then it hit me. I left paperwork back in the office. Paperwork I intended to bring home to get a jump start on that evening, after I put the baby down.
“Never mind! Ughhhhhh.” (Yes, a long drawn out, dramatic Ugh) “I have to turn around.” I raced back to the office, grabed the paperwork and hit the road, again.
Cruising along, the car in front started pumping their breaks and slowed down from 60 mph to about 10 mph. Frustrated, I slammed my wrist on the steering wheel, “No, no, no.” I just wanted to be home!
That is when I noticed, as we both came to a complete stop, a massive tree blocking the entire road. I was one of the first on the scene, besides an EMT who was assessing the damage. At this point, traffic started to build behind me and I could see the traffic lights in the opposite direction through the rain, fog, giant trunk and mess of branches strewn across the road.
My frustration grew as I realized my dreams of an evening home, on time, were crushed in that very moment. There was no turning around like the other cars around me. Swinging into the side of the road to head in the opposite direction for which they just came. I had no other route I could take to get home. No side connector streets. I just had to sit there and wait, and pout.
In my miserable state, the EMT who was the sole responder on the scene came up beside my vehicle in the pouring rain to place flares. With my window down he stated, “Two or three minutes earlier and that tree would have crashed on your vehicle driving through here.”
And, that is how God works.
Moments earlier I was so frustrated over my misstep in rushing out the door, only to have to turn around and go back to the office. What if I had not forgotten that paperwork at the office? I could have easily driven straight through there just in time for the crash.
The scene which was merely a clean-up effort with blocked traffic at a standstill could have been so much more. Quite frankly considering the busy road, everyone was probably thinking how lucky we each were as it could have been much worse. A tree of such size would have crushed a vehicle.
Sometimes God places obstacles in our lives for a bigger purpose. To be revealed at a greater time.
This is not the first time such an incident has occurred. I have headed out the door, forgotten something, went back and only minutes later pulled up on a crash scene. It always hits me in that moment how lucky I was to be late or even forgetful.
It also reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
While I sat there watching the Fire Department clean the mess, which only took about 15 minutes, my perspective changed. As I came up upon the scene I was so impatient and angry. Merely moments later, I thanked God for making me forgetful in that moment and keeping me safe.
Today, as I write this I am dealing with much greater issues and conflicts. All of which I want solved NOW. And, again, I know it is a Divine intervention, a weaving ribbon that brought me to the place, to write this post, to therapy myself into realizing – it will all work out. It is all His plan and I need to work on my impatience.