I was 16 years old. It was a Tuesday night and I had just got done cheering at my high school’s soccer game. I was tan. My waist was much smaller back then. Heck, I did not have “hips.” My hair was in place with a perfect cheerleader bow high on my head. My lip gloss was on point. I smelled great – Ralph for Women by Ralph Lauren was my go to those days. My nails were painted, I smiled big and giggled with friends along the track. My biggest worry under those stadium lights was whether or not I could convince my mom, who sat with the other moms on a bleacher nearby, to let me go out with friends after the game on a school night. Such a heavy worry for a 16-year-old. And, because that was my biggest worry in life, there was not a gray hair on my head or a wrinkle on my smooth face. Yep, I was my best self then. And by self, I am being purely vain.VIEW STORY »
Mother’s Day Gift Guide
Mother’s Day is just a few short days away and while I am sitting here on my back deck ALONE, writing, sipping a cold brew and being dive-bombed by a bumble bee, I can’t help think, well the solitude is pretty nice, minus the bee.
I realize that at this very moment I sound like a real winner. Basking in the quiet and silence and alone time. Maybe that is why this damn bee keeps attacking me. In reality, I would actually be quite sad if my Mother’s Day gift was a day to myself. I thrive off of the quality time we make for our family. So, while the quiet at this very moment is lovely, I enjoy it more in its short term.
Now, I would be lying if I did not say that an hour extra to sleep in and a day of not worrying about what to make for meals, this Mother’s Day does sound delightful. I think if anything those two acts of kindness and love speak volumes. But for those looking for the perfect gift to wrap up in a box and give to the woman they love most in their life, well I have a few ideas for you.
Magic of Motherhood Book | Kendra Scott Necklace | Herbivore Botanicals Coconut Soak | Uncommon Goods Cookbook | Hello Fresh | Smallwood Sign | Etsy T-Shirt Shutterfly Customized Mug
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If You Commute, Then These Podcasts Are For You
It is no secret. I commute. I think I have shared and whined about it a few times on here. Nearly an hour each way, two hours per day, at least 10 hours per week. It is equivalent to traveling to my favorite beach in South Caroline, once a week. Eek! Let’s not even talk about the miles or wear that I put on my car each year. But hey that is what cars are for right? To drive.
When people find out I commute the number one response I hear is, “I bet you love the time to decompress and be alone?” Eh! Actually, I am quite the opposite. I am a pit of anxiety. So, on the way to work, I worry and stress about everything I must accomplish in the day, the meeting I am dreading or the obstacle I must face. On the way home, I create a custom list in my mind of my next phase of to-dos for the day. So, basically, the commute just adds to my worry and stress.VIEW STORY »
Beef & Broccoli Stir Fry
Alright, who needs some midweek dinner recipe lovin? I know I do! I go for a few things when I attempt my meal planning on a Sunday night.
1) Ease – When you work full-time, add on a commute, allow time to pick-up Lo and get home, sometimes it is 6:30 pm or 7 pm before I am even standing in my kitchen. I actually enjoy cooking but I do not enjoy it when it feels like another chore on an already busy day.
2) Semi-Healthy – I know. I sound like a jerk. Semi-healthy? Really? Could not just go for the healthy? I am real, people. Real I tell you! Maybe I have not yet mastered my meal planning and maybe I have not studied up on nutrition enough, but for me, #1 and #3 matter so much. If that Mac’ N Cheese calls for whole milk, butter and cheese – I am doing it! I do though always opt for fresh over processed and really strive for veggies and color. So there. Give me some slack.
3) Delicious – Yep. Mac’ N Cheese! 🙂 Nathan and I enjoy food. We love to eat. We barely eat breakfast and lunch is always on the go or at a desk, so dinner is kind of special and homemade always tastes best.VIEW STORY »
Easter Recap
Happy post-Easter! Hopefully everyone had a beautiful holiday celebrating the most Holy holiday. We had a great and busy weekend full of celebrations. My mother-in-laws birthday fell on Saturday so we enjoyed dinner, a sunset four-wheeler ride and nighttime glow-in-the-dark egg hunt.
Our little family began Easter Sunday on my husband’s family’s farm, which for the past four years has been the site of our church’s sunrise service. I did not take any pictures because I felt it would be frowned upon during the service and afterwards, well I was just too excited to get us back home to Lo that I hurried us off the farm. We knew we wanted to attend the service but were a little unsure of Lo’s attention span. Of course Easter morning Lo decided to try something out – sleep in, so we had to wake her, add a coat over her pajamas and head out the door with a blanket and bottle in hand. Thank goodness Nathan’s sister, brother-in-law and three kids came in for the holiday and offered to watch Lo while we headed onto the farm for the 40-minute service.
10 Life Lessons I Learned From My Toddler
Mornings are hectic affairs in our house. Nathan leaves by 6:30 am anymore to get to the office, and I commute close to an hour for work. Our schedules have naturally created a toddler who rises with the sun. I am so jealous of my friends with kids that actually sleep in on the weekends. Sleeping in for us is 6:30 am, maybe 7 am, if we are super, super lucky.
I try to be pro-active to make morning chaos a little less overwhelming. I usually pack Lo’s clothes for the day the night before. Lay out a diaper, socks and shoes for transporting her from our home to my Mom, who bless her heart, is our daycare provider and gather all my work belongings, setting everything near the front door.
We are at a great age where Lo can entertain herself with toys while I get ready for work. As I did a final look over on the items that needed to head out the door with us, I called out to Lo asking her to come on. She obliged and when I turned to grab her and run out the door, the picture above is what greeted me at the end of the hall. My reaction was to quickly snatch all the accessories off of her but instead I stopped, I smiled and I laughed. “You look beautiful!”
“Like my necklace?” She asked.
My ideal of presentable nearly destroyed her proud moment, so thank goodness I hesitated, took a deep breath and decided to roll with Lo’s punches.
10 Life Lessons I Learned From My Toddler:
1 – Kindness matters.
Okay, who here watches the Sprout channel? Hands, hands? Kindness is a muscle? You know the song. Lo jumps and dances every time it comes on and sings along. There is a reason children’s entertainment is teaching our youth the value in caring and kindness. One of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes is, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Now, re-read that again. Think about some of the biggest fights with your spouse, best friend, parent, sibling, co-worker. Do you remember the words? No. Not really, maybe a phrase or two. You cannot recount the dialogue but you can recount the anger , the heartache, the walking away and thinking, “things will never be the same.” I have had those moments and I have those memories. When we feel de-value, hurt and sadness, we remember and carry it with us. Life is about empathy and being kind is the greatest gift you can give to others.
2 – Life is not fair but it is still good.
No, life is not fair. We all learn this lesson one way or another and yet we learn this lesson time and time again. It is the lesson that keeps giving if you will. Lo’s example of not fair usually occurs in a grocery store when many eyes are upon us and she melts down when I tell her, “No” or remove the M&M’s from the grips of her small hands. She cries. Sometimes screams and slithers to the floor to pull a dead weight move on me, but by the time we are in the car and I turn on the Moana soundtrack, she is smiling, wiggling her body and singing to the beats. When we pull into our driveway, the unfair moment is a mere memory.
3 – Cry with someone, not alone.
When my two year old falls, tumbles climbing, runs into a wall, you name it, when those tears flow from her face and down her round cheeks, she never sits there alone. No, she comes running into the arms of someone nearby for comfort. It is a lesson we all should embrace. Life’s hardest moments are easier when we seek the love from others through words, prayers or just silent companionship. Don’t suffer through something alone.
4 – If you don’t ask you won’t get it.
“Mommy, can I get this?” As we walk the toy aisle. The answer is usually no but sometimes it is yes. “Mommy, ice cream?” Sometimes her question leads to a spontaneous moment like ice cream on the patio of an ice cream shop, just before dinner. In life, when you don’t ask the questions, you never know the answers. Sometimes opportunity will not present itself it you don’t make others know your wants, needs and intentions.
5 – Material possessions wont make you happy.
Christmas morning when all the gifts are open and wrapping paper lays across the living room floor, I looked over and she was stacking cardboard boxes that the toys came in. As the shiny new toys lay on the ground, she laughed throwing paper in the air. I feel like this is one life lesson you may all relate with the most. Our children are simple creatures. They find happiness in themselves, something we tend to lose as we become adults.
A newborn, infant and toddler are hardworking beings. Think about everything they must learn and master at such a young age. They learn to crawl before they walk and run and cry out before they babble and speak. Hard work truly pays off for our little kiddies. They handle learning and the “work” with ease. It comes so natural because there is no other way. It is true for us as adults too but the difference is we become lazy in the process. Hard work is the only way to succeed. Yes, luck exists but it is the one who believes and works hard that really prospers.
7 – Never stop learning.
This life lesson really plays off of the one mentioned before, but it is a life lesson, we measure as it relates to school. Learning does not need to mean classwork and enrollment in a trade school or college. Learning can mean reading a book or newspaper, attending a seminar or sitting down with an elder and asking questions and listening. I learn so much from my parents and grandparents alone. The person who seeks more in life through knowledge, is someone who knows and understands that to learn we morph and grow.
8 – Be honest.
Nothing is truer than the words spoken from a child. They hold nothing back and tell it like they mean it. How endearing of a quality? Honesty is a solid characteristic that adults seem to scamper from. We worry about what others will think of us through our honesty. I say own it. If you cannot take on more, say it. If you feel something in your gut, express it. When you want to take a chance, embrace it. Honesty leads to great and powerful things.
9 – Your attitude is everything.
My two year old is happy, carefree and excited about life, except for moments of exhaustion, when meltdowns occur, she is a pleasant child and a joy to be around. Your attitude is everything. The way you see your life and the world exists within your own mind. No one can change that for you.
10 – Live life without worrying what others think.
Seriously?! Look at this picture above. This wholeheartedly sums up this lesson. Walk out that door today in that bright purple coat and do not worry what people think. Cut and dye your hair in that style you have always wanted, go do that crazy thing you have been dreaming of, go out for dinner and drinks by yourself and meet someone new. Any crazy thing, little or small, that you ever wanted to do but felt the perception of others was holding you back. DO IT! Because guess what? At the end of the day when you are brushing your teeth and starring at that person in the mirror, the happiness train, well it only matters if you feel it inside.
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When Your Heart Feels Heavy
When your heart feels heavy, where do you turn?
There is a lot on my mind these days. In fact, I feel like I am at a point where I literally cannot sit through another meeting, attend another training, open another lengthy email, hear another terrible sadness, watch another devastating event on the news – because quite frankly I cannot fit anymore in my brain. Nope. Nada. The capacity of what goes in is full and until I can start eliminating some of the madness currently left behind, I am a gazed over human.
My heart hurts. A month ago I lost a family member suddenly and tragically. It was unexpected. The death was torture to my family who now feels riddled with guilt and “could of, should of’s.” Not to mention words unsaid and situations left unmended.
There is sickness. People near and dear to me and / or my family are suffering. Fighting silent battles where worry and fear exists as we wait for the medical community to answer unanswered questions.
Soon my dear brother who serves this country will depart for his first overseas mission and while we are blessed with a small amount of time away from home, it is scary to think of him in a foreign land with little to no contact.
And then there is the way of the world. The evil and the heartbreak. The attack on Syria and the sad, horrible images of suffering and death. I cannot get the vision of the father holding his two nine-month old twins who died from the warfare out of my mind. I close my eyes tightly and scream in my mind and nothing will ever erase that image.
When I awoke the night before last, just after 11 pm, after accidentally falling asleep next to Lo, I carried her to her crib and I turned on the news. I read the headlines of our country bombing Syria and I turned to the bathroom to shower. As the water poured over my head, I cranked the heat up more and let the hot water trickle down my neck and back. I felt sore all over. Like a nagging sick feeling.
As I climbed into my bed, my safe place, I felt the tightness creep into my chest and anxiety fill my body. I did not sleep. No, I tossed and turned all night. Waking and thinking of one of many worrisome images in my mind. Stresses within our home, within the family, within work, within the world.
When I awoke, not much had changed and instead I felt like all day I carried around this feeling of uneasiness and sadness.
I know I am not the only one with this sick gut feeling. In fact, I know for a fact so many more people in my inner circle who are suffering a painful loss and I know this feeling I feel cannot compare with the world they now face. And, yet, I find myself aching for them too.
Faith is the only constant that I know I can 100% undoubtedly rely upon to pull me through. Last night as I tossed and turned, awaking each hour and sitting up to look across the room at our alarm clock, then as I laid there staring at the ceiling, I turned to prayer. Sometimes returning to the same words time and time again. I would eventually calm down, breathing would become more normal and soon I would drift to sleep. My anxiety became manageable. It was like the weight of the words and the heaviness of the matters transferred from my heart and into God hands.
As Christians that is what we are taught to do. Turn to God.
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
We know this yet we have such trouble casting our worries away and praying to God for the strength, the guidance and the grace to let go and let God take control. I know worrying won’t cure others, stop the piles of stress, fix what seems like in this moment as unfix able problems, and yet I continue to worry.
It takes hours and days and months of build up until finally I find myself at a point at 2:00 am, staring off into the darkness of my bedroom, overthinking and anxious. But, soon the light shines through and while I do not physically see the rays striking my face, I feel its warmth in the darkness and know that sometimes the greatest things in this scary, stressful world are the things we cannot see. And, in that moment I feel and know God’s grace.
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Easter Basket Ideas for Toddler Girls
Easter Bunny Popcorn Dessert
Lo is officially a graduate of Sweet Tooth University. I know, I know – sugar city. Not good. Well, she gets it honestly. In high school I begged guys to break up with me so I could sit on my couch and down a pint of ice cream with no regrets or guilt. Just kidding. I hated heartache. Nathan, well he loves chocolate chip cookie cakes and just about any pie, especially Razzleberry. Then add the fact that Nathan’s family has an ice cream parlor and I am all like – yeah just give me an ice cream sundae with some hot fudge.
I admit. We are sweet tooths in this house.
Rose Colored Glasses
My rose colored glasses faded as I grew up and lost my sense of innocence and childhood make believe. Just like the young boy, Jonas, in my favorite childhood book, “The Giver” who ultimately learns the true pain and pleasures of the ‘real world,’ so too do our children. Right now my two year old is in the pre-enlightenment stage if you will. She sees the world within an arms reach of us. To her, the world is us, our home, her extended family, and that one dream trip to a water park, which she does not stop talking about.
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