Nearly two years ago, give or take a month or two, I was baptized at the age of 28, alongside my 5-month-old daughter. It was a special day for me for many reasons. One, I was standing before our church alongside Nathan, and proclaiming that our daughter would be raised in a Christian home, honoring our Christian faith and proclaiming our love for Jesus among our Church family, and two, I declared publicly my love for Christ and made an outward statement that I believed in the power of God and that I accepted God into my heart and life. I was spiritually connected to God and my Church, more strongly than I had ever been in my life. I enjoyed Sunday mornings, I sought worship, learned from the sermon and walked away from service feeling revived and energetic.
Summer Bucket List
It is summertime! Well not like officially, officially, that happens – June 21. In my mind though, it is summer and that happens when the temperatures decide to stay in the 70+ degree digits and the kids are out of school. Now, Lo is always out of school, so I live through my friend’s children.
And, while I pretend like Fall is my favorite season because I like the weather, tall brown boots and fall foods like hot cider and warm homemade soups, really deep down, I am a summer girl. I am pretty sure if things went my way, I would live poolside in a zone that stayed 70+ degree digits year round.
How Has Your Mother Shaped You?
It was a rough week for me personally. I was chatting with co-workers about work-life balance and how at the moment it is nonexistent for me. I am at a pivotal point in my life where I am asking myself every day what my priorities are and how those priorities stack out.
Being a Mom is a huge priority, but even more so a present Mom and in most cases, I feel like Lo is not getting the best of me. One of my co-workers shared a story and it really moved me. To tears actually, I tried to hold them back and turn my head so she would not see, but they came rushing down my already damp face.
She had a friend who was sharing with her that when she was talking to her now older teenager/young adult children, she told them how looking back on their childhood all she remembers doing was yelling at them and that made her so sad. But the amazing thing was her child oddly looked at her and said, “Mom, we never remember you yelling at us.”
The perception we have as a parent is just our take on how we are raising our children. We in most cases feel like we are never enough. The true test is how our children feel, which leads me to share This link. It kind of wraps up everything I am trying to say.
Our mothers shape us in so many ways. And, while as Moms, some days we feel exhausted and like failures, not giving our best or our all, our children often remind us that the motherhood magic spirals bright and strong around them, long after the toys lay quietly on the living room floor, and their childhood room remains neatly untouched and they are off in the world and a phone call away.
I thank these fellow children of Moms who shared their answer to the following question to help lift their Mom and all Moms. Happy Mother’s Day.
How has your mother shaped you?
“Through the years my mom has made many sacrifices to give me every opportunity that has led me to where I am today. She has always led by example. Her unconditional love and willingness to give have shown me how to be selfless. My mom has never set a goal she has not reached, she is determined and strong, something I have always admired about her. She is the glue that holds my family together and I know how lucky I am to have been raised by such an amazing woman.” – Jordin R.
“It’s hard to narrow it down to just a few things when I think about my Mom and what a strong influence she’s had on me. She is a well-respected psychologist who ran her own successful private practice for years, all while raising three girls on her own. Growing up, she taught my sisters and me that it is entirely possible to pursue a career but to show your family you love them. She somehow found time to make us delicious dinners and homemade birthday cakes (I love to throw dinner parties and make food for people I love because of her wonderful cooking). She worked so hard to give us so many opportunities – we went on countless camping trips and hikes, and all took dance classes, did things like tennis and art lessons. I think the latter was also instrumental – we not only grew up curious about how we could be creative and expressive on our own, but we watched our Mom pursue her talents in and around her crazy schedule. She makes absolutely beautiful quilts, makes the best homemade bread in the world and is one of the craftiest people I know. Over the past few years, she’s become a master beekeeper, something that is her greatest passion following retirement. Now that I’m older and have experienced some of the things that come with that, like starting over after a divorce, my Mom is my strongest supporter and lets me know I can do anything on my own, that it’s never too late to have the life you always wanted and deserve. That’s been an incredibly powerful thing to share with her. The long talks we’ve had over the past few years since I moved to DC to begin my life as a single person have been so special—she understands what I’ve been through and she can see what I’m becoming, if I keep believing in everything that makes me happy and realize how capable I am. This has really deepened our relationship and brought us closer in a way I didn’t realize was possible. I’m so thankful for her and love her so much.” – Becca B.
“It wasn’t until the last few years that I have truly realized just how much my mother has shaped me into who I am today. As a child who never went to daycare, or even had babysitters, my bond with my mother has always been strong. She has shown true selflessness and courage and always encouraged me to be who I want to be. I always go above and beyond to make someone feel special – something that is undeniably a trait I got from her. All of the best things about me – are because of her.” – Tracey C.
“My mother has shaped me in just about every way imaginable. Here are the two ways that come to mind immediately. 1) Unconditional love. 2) A love for teaching children.
Ever since I entered this word (breech, by the way, and I apologize to her for that, often) I have known that my Mom was going to love me no matter what! Of course, I tried my best to be that perfect child, but mistakes and bad choices were made along the way. I think especially during my high school years, I did some things that didn’t necessarily make my Mom proud. My taste in certain boyfriends and my total disregard for academic achievement come to mind. Of course, my Mother let me know she did not agree with certain choices I had made, but never in a condescending or nasty way. And never did she utter the words, “I told you so,” when she could have so many times. She loved me at times when I didn’t exactly love myself.
I grew up thinking of my Mom as my Mom, but also as a teacher. When I was younger this meant getting to open her Valentine’s Day cards, having her around all summer long, and going to help her decorate her classroom every August. As I became older though, I really started to appreciate the gift that she had for reaching all students and making every one of them want to come into her classroom where they would be entertained, loved, and would actually learn a little in the meantime. She would work late every night planning entertaining lessons and activities that she felt her students deserved. She truly loved every minute she spent with her students. She always emphasized the importance of laughing with, talking to, and most importantly, listening to each student each day. She always said teaching is one of the most rewarding jobs out there, and I am so grateful that I believed her enough to discover this for myself.” – Kristi A.
“I love my, mom. She is the hardest working woman I know. She has always been there for me, helping me and making sure the decisions I make are always the right ones. I learned this right before taking the big step to move out. Every time I brought it up to her, she always would say, “Are you sure you can handle that?” She helped me develop into the man I am today because of this. She is also so caring towards her kids and others. Anytime I come home and something is emotionally troubling to me she always knows what to say. I appreciate that she makes sure to comfort me and help me through everything before I turn to leave. She has always been there to protect me. Thank you. I love you, forever and always.” – Turner M. (PS- That is my baby brother and he is the one in the black shirt behind my Mom).
Moms, you are powerful and resilient. You are lovely and beautiful. You make the lives of your children and their worlds go round. We are lucky to celebrate you.
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Mother’s Day Gift Guide
Mother’s Day is just a few short days away and while I am sitting here on my back deck ALONE, writing, sipping a cold brew and being dive-bombed by a bumble bee, I can’t help think, well the solitude is pretty nice, minus the bee.
I realize that at this very moment I sound like a real winner. Basking in the quiet and silence and alone time. Maybe that is why this damn bee keeps attacking me. In reality, I would actually be quite sad if my Mother’s Day gift was a day to myself. I thrive off of the quality time we make for our family. So, while the quiet at this very moment is lovely, I enjoy it more in its short term.
Now, I would be lying if I did not say that an hour extra to sleep in and a day of not worrying about what to make for meals, this Mother’s Day does sound delightful. I think if anything those two acts of kindness and love speak volumes. But for those looking for the perfect gift to wrap up in a box and give to the woman they love most in their life, well I have a few ideas for you.
Magic of Motherhood Book | Kendra Scott Necklace | Herbivore Botanicals Coconut Soak | Uncommon Goods Cookbook | Hello Fresh | Smallwood Sign | Etsy T-Shirt Shutterfly Customized Mug
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If You Commute, Then These Podcasts Are For You
It is no secret. I commute. I think I have shared and whined about it a few times on here. Nearly an hour each way, two hours per day, at least 10 hours per week. It is equivalent to traveling to my favorite beach in South Caroline, once a week. Eek! Let’s not even talk about the miles or wear that I put on my car each year. But hey that is what cars are for right? To drive.
When people find out I commute the number one response I hear is, “I bet you love the time to decompress and be alone?” Eh! Actually, I am quite the opposite. I am a pit of anxiety. So, on the way to work, I worry and stress about everything I must accomplish in the day, the meeting I am dreading or the obstacle I must face. On the way home, I create a custom list in my mind of my next phase of to-dos for the day. So, basically, the commute just adds to my worry and stress.VIEW STORY »
When Your Heart Feels Heavy
When your heart feels heavy, where do you turn?
There is a lot on my mind these days. In fact, I feel like I am at a point where I literally cannot sit through another meeting, attend another training, open another lengthy email, hear another terrible sadness, watch another devastating event on the news – because quite frankly I cannot fit anymore in my brain. Nope. Nada. The capacity of what goes in is full and until I can start eliminating some of the madness currently left behind, I am a gazed over human.
My heart hurts. A month ago I lost a family member suddenly and tragically. It was unexpected. The death was torture to my family who now feels riddled with guilt and “could of, should of’s.” Not to mention words unsaid and situations left unmended.
There is sickness. People near and dear to me and / or my family are suffering. Fighting silent battles where worry and fear exists as we wait for the medical community to answer unanswered questions.
Soon my dear brother who serves this country will depart for his first overseas mission and while we are blessed with a small amount of time away from home, it is scary to think of him in a foreign land with little to no contact.
And then there is the way of the world. The evil and the heartbreak. The attack on Syria and the sad, horrible images of suffering and death. I cannot get the vision of the father holding his two nine-month old twins who died from the warfare out of my mind. I close my eyes tightly and scream in my mind and nothing will ever erase that image.
When I awoke the night before last, just after 11 pm, after accidentally falling asleep next to Lo, I carried her to her crib and I turned on the news. I read the headlines of our country bombing Syria and I turned to the bathroom to shower. As the water poured over my head, I cranked the heat up more and let the hot water trickle down my neck and back. I felt sore all over. Like a nagging sick feeling.
As I climbed into my bed, my safe place, I felt the tightness creep into my chest and anxiety fill my body. I did not sleep. No, I tossed and turned all night. Waking and thinking of one of many worrisome images in my mind. Stresses within our home, within the family, within work, within the world.
When I awoke, not much had changed and instead I felt like all day I carried around this feeling of uneasiness and sadness.
I know I am not the only one with this sick gut feeling. In fact, I know for a fact so many more people in my inner circle who are suffering a painful loss and I know this feeling I feel cannot compare with the world they now face. And, yet, I find myself aching for them too.
Faith is the only constant that I know I can 100% undoubtedly rely upon to pull me through. Last night as I tossed and turned, awaking each hour and sitting up to look across the room at our alarm clock, then as I laid there staring at the ceiling, I turned to prayer. Sometimes returning to the same words time and time again. I would eventually calm down, breathing would become more normal and soon I would drift to sleep. My anxiety became manageable. It was like the weight of the words and the heaviness of the matters transferred from my heart and into God hands.
As Christians that is what we are taught to do. Turn to God.
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
We know this yet we have such trouble casting our worries away and praying to God for the strength, the guidance and the grace to let go and let God take control. I know worrying won’t cure others, stop the piles of stress, fix what seems like in this moment as unfix able problems, and yet I continue to worry.
It takes hours and days and months of build up until finally I find myself at a point at 2:00 am, staring off into the darkness of my bedroom, overthinking and anxious. But, soon the light shines through and while I do not physically see the rays striking my face, I feel its warmth in the darkness and know that sometimes the greatest things in this scary, stressful world are the things we cannot see. And, in that moment I feel and know God’s grace.
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Best Books For Toddlers
Bedtime. It is definitely not the sweetest spot of our every day. Lately Lo wants to stay up later and later, and I tend to be mush when it comes to bedtime. I am that Mom who cannot stand when her child stands at the dinner table, or when her two-year old refuses to eat decent food and instead insists on white bread with butter, but two hours of fighting bedtime and I am all like, “Oh, she is just a baby.”
Top 10 Reasons Living With A Toddler Is Like Living With A Drunk Person
Yes, you read the headline right. Parents, I figured it out. As I stared at my wide-eyed, what the heck just happened to me two-year old, who laid on the bathroom floor in disarray looking up at me, it hit me… living with a toddler is like living with a drunk person.
You see, I asked my daughter to join my in the bathroom as I was home alone with her and needed to iron my clothes. Our ironing board is attached to the back of the bathroom door, so technically I lock myself in when I need to iron. Of course, she could not do damage with me by her side unlike if I was locked in a room with her free to roam the house. It was two minutes. That is it! And, in two minutes she caused enough damage for an hour worth of repair work.
“Look at me Mommy!” And as I turned, my two year old, Lo, had moved her potty over to the wall, stood on top of its lid and was hanging from our towel rack. When she lifted her little feet backwards into the air the towel rack ripped in a hurry from the wall, pulling some of the dry wall, and she crashing to the ground.
Yep! Just like living with a drunk person.
#1 – They spill their drinks all over the floor
I have physically witnessed my daughter laugh as she squeezed the life out of a juice box and watched the sugary substance spill all over the floor. Leaky bottle in the bed? No worries! We like sleeping in wet bed sheets. If there is a drink in our home without a screw top lid, well then we are just that – screwed.
#2 – They are always getting hurt
Clumsy! My toddler will walk straight into a wall or door. This morning when we opened the front door to leave, she tumbled outside onto our porch. Flat out tumbled. It is like her feet are their very own tripping hazard. She had so many bruises on her face that my husband posted this to SnapChat last month.
#3 – They cry… a lot!
Their emotions are all over the place. Lo has cried recently because I would not allow her to open glitter eye shadow she found in my old makeup bag (heck, I cried that I wore that stuff), because her bottle of milk seemed too cold, because the toy bucket in the shower had cold water in it from the night before, and because I told her she could not eat butter out of the butter container with a spoon.
#4 – They ask why way too much
Everything is why? Everything! Our dinner conversation the other night went something like this.
Me: Eat your food.
Lo: Why?
Me: Because it is dinner time.
Lo: Why?
Me: Because you have to eat before you go to bed.
Lo: Why?
Me: Do you want to be hungry before bed?
Lo: Why?
Me: Because.
Lo: Why?
Me: Because I said so.
Lo: Because Why?
Me: Why?
Lo: Why?
Fork dropped.
#5 – You cannot have nice things
Hence my story above. We now have a hole in our bathroom wall and ripped drywall. All thanks to a “Look at me Mommy,” hang! Don’t even get me started on my carpets!
#6 – They do not care what scene they make in public
It does not matter that the restaurant is full and your client is seated with his wife across the room. They could care less if the lady at the end of the grocery store aisle goes to your church. Really care less as they knock over the display and you are left deciding if you should clean it up or run for cover. Heck, the mere fact that there are eyes upon them means nothing, their emotions show through regardless of who is around. There is no need to impress and zero care about causing a scene.
#7 – The flip their dinner plates
Don’t like that? Ah! Just throw it off the table. We love cleaning up beneath and around you.
#8 – My phone has drunk dials
I do not know why I have not yet learned from my mistakes. Lo has called a business contractor on my husband’s phone at 9 pm at night and Facetimed one of my old colleges. Awesome!
#9 – They want pizza, Oreos or chicken nuggets for breakfast all the time
My daughter wakes up asking for gummies! Partly my fault since we do give her a vitamin gummie so she then thinks she can have a bag. She will cry for pizza for breakfast and ice cream just before dinner. It is like she could eat all the time.
#10 – They can fall asleep anywhere
In the car, on the floor, across your lap, any where other than their crib or bed. My favorite was after a long day and a missed nap, she walked in the house, boots and snow coat still on, scuffled over to her toy couch and face dived into the cushion and just laid there.
Motherhood and all its craziness, I mean greatness! More motherhood reads here:
- When You Give A Two Year Old A Mini Shopping Cart
- The Best Parenting Advice I Can Give
- Sunday Morning and Poison Control
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Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Her
Valentine’s Day. A glorified “hallmark” holiday as some claim. Although, I love Valentine’s Day. Always have. Even if I was single, I never considered it a holiday destined to celebrate with your significant other but a day to say “I love you” to all those you really love. I remember growing up, my Mother would also treat us to Valentine’s from her and my Dad, and now that I have Lo, I already have her little Valentine’s Day spread ready for cupid’s delivery.
I know what you are going to say, “Well, why tell someone you love you love them because it is Valentine’s Day. Shouldn’t we say it every day?” Yes,that is true, but let’s be real. Life is tough, hard, stressful and fast paced. Some days it is pure survival in my house. We show each other small acts of kindness and love but sometimes we do that out of habit. It becomes second nature, it isn’t really thought out or anticipated. But, with Valentine’s Day, it is a moment to make us pause and do something maybe out of the norm. It may be forced since it feels like a forced day, but I like that it is a kick in the butt to do something I would not think to do. Like a special dinner, bottle of wine, strawberries or just a sweet card. Regardless of what you do, say or buy, I encourage you to celebrate with your loves on this fun, festive day.
Day 22
It hit me this morning. It is day 22 of the new year, and we are three weeks into 2017. Time has once again fleeted me. It has a sneaky way of doing such. Being so present yet silently avoiding me.
I did not choose a typical, straightforward resolution this year. I did not set myself up for the stress of fear of failure or the guilt of changing tides when I suddenly remember, oh I was to eat better and indulged in two coffees, a slice of birthday cake, two beers and three slices of pizza today. Gulp!
No, I decided instead of pushing myself into something for sake of 2017 replacing 2016 on every check I write, that I would choose a path of self focus and inner self waking.
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