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Backwards N High Heels

Balancing work and play while wearing many hats (I mean heels).

Now I Am Left Cleaning The Mess

September 21, 2017

Article originally published on Her View From Home.

Disclaimer: I wrote this post in May of 2017. I held my breath and hit submit, as I emailed my first piece to Her View From Her Home for consideration. A few days later, the kind, patient and encouraging Leslie Means, creator of Her View From Her Home, gave me a chance at writing. A lot has changed since I wrote this piece; however, this time in my life was a breaking point that changed me. Like a light switch that finally after years of jiggling turned on. This work opened up my blogging networking doors, but it also contributed to the most private messages on any one post I have yet to receive. It is an important message, so I share again this time on here, in the hopes that it will resonate with you.


 Lately, I have felt like the inside of a soda pop bottle. The liquid that swashes and swishes around against the inside of the plastic bottle being tossed around by a swinging hand. A sway to one side and a swoosh to the other before one day the handler grabs the bottle with both hands and furiously shakes it with all their might. The pressure builds. And finally the cap unscrews and I feel all the emotions that have been stirring inside me, spill out all over myself, others and everything I touch.

Now I am left cleaning the mess.

A mess that includes words mumbled under my breath to my husband in frustration, yet he heard; impatience with my two-year-old who just can’t keep up with my mental and physical speed of doing things; shortness with my work department team who bears the brunt of coldness after I return from a stressful meeting; a home that needs dire attention due to lack of time to care for the space; and, my own personal self who feels the weight of the world heavy on my mind and heart.

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1 Comment CATEGORIES // Family, Lifestyle TAGGED: Advice, Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, Motherhood, Parenting, Work Life Balance, Working Mom

You Are Still A Great Mom

September 6, 2017

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Hey there, Momma dear. I see you and I feel you. Right now you are beating yourself up over something you didn’t do, or actually maybe something you did do or something you said, but regardless of where you fall on the feelings spectrum, I am sure at some moment you have felt a form of failure. Mom guilt is real, raw and creeps up in the depths of your gut and swirls through your soul to overwhelm you with that “gotcha feeling” that makes you just slump over in all the bad feels. Momma, I am here for you and here to tell you that you got this.

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4 Comments CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, Mom Advice, Motherhood, Parenting

Toddler Must Have Products

August 27, 2017

If you scroll through Pinterest you know that the site is flooded with must buy, top items and baby guide lists. I know because I can claim a handful of them out there as my own. When I was pregnant with Lo, I lived off of the must buy guides. I would save pin upon pin that provided every detailed list of the items I needed for when the baby arrived. Things that eventually proved to not be worth the hype or fit our needs and items that I now know I could not live without.

Once Lo was born, I felt strongly to create my own lists. Built upon the same lists that guided me through my first pregnancy and months and years parenting, I knew how special and important word-of-mouth referrals were when I needed them the most and started to develop and share my own lists here on the Blog for you.

I was very scheduled and used my momming experience to release many age focused lists such as This One or This One, and then spent multiple days combining the guide of all guides for a Baby Registry.

But, now Lo is two years old, and rounding the bend to three, and I realize her priorities and mine have changed, and just as the time when she was an infant, now as a toddler, we still have some age-appropriate needs.

Toddler-Must-Have-Products_BackwardsNHighHeels-Blog copyUnderwear  | Forehead Thermometer | Book Bag | Toothpaste | Toothbrush | Faucet Extender | The Napping House Book | Step Stool

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Leave a Comment CATEGORIES // Family, Lifestyle TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, Toddler Must Have Products, Toddler Must Haves

Change

August 20, 2017

BackwardsNHighHeels_Blog
Things have been quiet around here. Looking back over this summer, as we now creep into the end of August, I counted the number of blog posts over the last three months and I am pretty disappointed in myself. I know for many of you this “hobby” of mine may be just that – a word, marked with quotations and no real weight. But, for me, there is weight in this blog, my writing, and these words. I choose every day to keep this site live for anyone to open and read. It is a real vulnerability that some may question and wonder if putting myself out there is really even worth it, but let me clarify that right now, at this moment it is. I enjoy the conversations I have offline and behind-the-scenes with newbie mommies, want-to jump in bloggers, fellow working moms, etc. It has created a larger circle for me with incredible individuals all across the world who are just an open the computer and type a message moments away.

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4 Comments CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, Change, Faith, Making Life Changing Decision

This is what it feels like to hold on while letting go

August 12, 2017


I never went far for college. Never packed my belongings into a handful of suitcases, bags and boxes, minimizing what was important based on what I could fit into a car and then fit in a dorm space. I never had to watch my parents drive away from me in a car out of a town in complete excitement and fear. Instead, I stayed close to home and enjoyed the perks of living college out with home cooked meals and my Dad available any weeknight evening for a math or science tutor session.

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2 Comments CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, Mom Advice, Mom Blog, Motherhood, Parenting, Raising a Daughter

I Wish For My Daughter

July 24, 2017

I Wish For My Daughter

This past week we took a much, let me emphasize, much needed little family vacation. More to come on that later this week as I dive into some of our time spent in the Outer Banks. It was our first time visiting and it was quite lovely.

Over and over my little girl (in between meltdowns because let’s face it, life is not all it seems to be on a beautiful Instagram feed) would look at me with a huge grin and say, “Momma, I have fun.” It made my heart melt, actually, I would just melt into a puddle after that.

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Five Things Five-Years of Marriage Has Taught Me – Plus a Giveaway

June 25, 2017

1 – We give love differently and we love each other differently.
Have you ever heard of the five love languages? Words of Affirmation, Touch, Time Together, Acts of Service and Gifts. When Nathan and I were engaged we attended a few weeks of marriage classes with our pastor as we prepared for the big day. Part of the prep work was learning and understanding love languages and exploring what our personal language was and our partner’s. It was the first time I realized that we loved different and needed each other’s love in different ways. Five years later, that has not changed. Understanding each other is different is not enough. Instead, I have learned that having an underlying appreciation for the fact that we are two different people and knowing what may make each other tick is actually part of marriage success. I gauge our situations by trying to say things such as, “I feel this way because…” instead of starting on a “You did this…” By taking the blame off of the other person and expressing the way you personally feel is super important in validating the fact that we know each other thinks and feels different; therefore, we love differently.

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2 Comments CATEGORIES // Family, Lifestyle TAGGED: 5 Year Anniversary Gift Idea, Anniversary, Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, BackwardsNHighHeels, Cool Watch, Engraved Gift, JORD, Lessons Marriage Taught Me, Marriage, Men's Watch, Unique Watch

My New Season With God

June 18, 2017

My New Sunday
Nearly two years ago, give or take a month or two, I was baptized at the age of 28, alongside my 5-month-old daughter. It was a special day for me for many reasons. One, I was standing before our church alongside Nathan, and proclaiming that our daughter would be raised in a Christian home, honoring our Christian faith and proclaiming our love for Jesus among our Church family, and two, I declared publicly my love for Christ and made an outward statement that I believed in the power of God and that I accepted God into my heart and life. I was spiritually connected to God and my Church, more strongly than I had ever been in my life. I enjoyed Sunday mornings, I sought worship, learned from the sermon and walked away from service feeling revived and energetic.

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Summer Bucket List

June 17, 2017

It is summertime! Well not like officially, officially, that happens – June 21. In my mind though, it is summer and that happens when the temperatures decide to stay in the 70+ degree digits and the kids are out of school. Now, Lo is always out of school, so I live through my friend’s children.

And, while I pretend like Fall is my favorite season because I like the weather, tall brown boots and fall foods like hot cider and warm homemade soups, really deep down, I am a summer girl. I am pretty sure if things went my way, I would live poolside in a zone that stayed 70+ degree digits year round.

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Parents Say The Darndest Things

June 12, 2017

Our dear friends just recently had their first child. We were invited down to their home to spend some time with their week and a half-year-old little guy and to introduce him to our very ornery, can’t stop – won’t stop, two-year-old, Lo.

I was a nervous Nancy watching my daughter bounce from step to ground, fearful she was just a mere tumble away into the peaceful newborn’s bouncy seat, where he so quietly slept. As I watched this beautiful boy stretch and yawn and wrinkle his oh so tiny nose, I looked over at my rowdy, rambunctious daughter, “No, Logan, we do not lick the concrete,” I calmly announced as my daughter was on all fours on my friend’s patio, lapping up the hard surface. In that moment, I turned back to the newborn so peaceful and dependent and then back at my puppy, I mean daughter and thought well gee this is my motherhood.

Lately, I feel like I run around chasing my daughter saying “No!” Our dialogue with our child has totally shifted and now I just find myself and my husband speak and think nothing of our dialogue until a moment later when it hits me, “Did we just say that?”

So I started this list – Parents Say the Darndest Things – with our recent conversation at our friend’s house when I asked my daughter to stop licking the concrete, in mind.

Darndest Thing #1 – The same night as the concrete and moments later Lo ripped a leaf  off our friend’s hedge bush that lined their patio and placed the leaf in her mouth, “Lo, stop eating their landscape.”

Darndest Thing #2 – After a quiet moment, my husband walked into our daughter’s bedroom and found her on the floor playing in a small travel bag I have packed which contains band-aids, thermometers, and an extra toothbrush. My dear husband yelled, “No, that was in your butt, get it out of your mouth.” Hmmm… I thought from our bedroom across the hall. Turns out Lo had placed the reserved anal thermometer in her mouth. Then Nathan asked me, “Right? This goes in her butt?” Holding the red and white thermometer in his hand in our doorway. “Yes, dear, that typically goes in her butt.”

Darndest Thing #3 – One morning while playing with chalk on the front sidewalk that leads to our house, “Logan, chalk is for sidewalks, not for faces.” She had bright blue dusty chalk painted on the tip of her nose and was holding the red and outlining her face as I caught her.

Darndest Thing #4 – I dressed Logan, I gave her a bottle, her blanket and set her on the couch with a TV show so I could water my annuals in our front yard. Nathan yelled, “Ashli, did you change, Lo?”

“Yeah, why?” I call back.

I turned around to see my daughter with her top on but completely naked from the waist down standing in the front door looking out at me. “Logan, no, we do not walk around pantless.”

“Yeah,” said Nathan scurrying her along. “And,  we don’t stand at the front door when we do,” I heard Nathan say as they walked away. 😐

You know how they say kids say the darndest things, well clearly us parents do too. Just another day, another dollar (no – wait) and another moment in the life of parenthood. And, I cheers to you on that!
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1 Comment CATEGORIES // Family TAGGED: Backwards In High Heels, Backwards N High Heels, Backwards N High Heels Lifestyle Blog, Being A Mom, Mom Advice, Motherhood, Parenting

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