There are two reasons in life I get up way before the sun rises with a smile on my face and a pep in my step. 1) Hosting a yard sale. 2) Black Friday Shopping.

My Black Friday days started back when I was in high school and got a job working for KB Toys. Who remembers them? Well, I do, because I lived for Black Friday. I even volunteered to work double shifts. They didn’t allow it but I tried and that is what matters.

The smell of new toys, the hysteria from strangers, the smirk on my face knowing exactly where in the store of the floor to ceiling toys the latest and greatest doorbusters where secretly hidden. It started then, my love for Black Friday, and before you judge me or call me out for being a materialistic fool please know that I really don’t care. For the tradition of Black Friday is something I love and yes, start counting down the day to somewhere after the 4th of July.

But, if you are going to set your alarm for 3 am or early after a busy day of preparing a Thanksgiving feast, it better be worth it! And while I seriously do not do it for the deals, I do it for the good times with good people, here are 10 Steps to Crush it this Black Friday.

1. Yoga Pants – Yeah, you heard me. Wear em! No one cares. You are in a sea of groggy, half happy, half why-the-hell-are-you-out-here-with-that-attitude shoppers. Be comfortable and own the whole, “I am trying, yet not trying the look.” Heck, I may even bust out the sneakers! Whaa?
2. Retail Me Not – This App will save you money! Seriously. Download it Here and somewhere between saving money here and there think of me and say thank you!
3. Take a Larger Vehicle – I know what you are thinking. Really? Yes! We made this mistake a few years ago. We underestimated the power of a mother shopping for young girls and before we knew it, trunk blown, and mind really. Me and said partner in crime drove home with packages on our laps and wrapped around us. No lie! I bought pillows.
4. Go With People You Like – This one is HUGE! You need no negative Nancy’s during Black Friday shopping. You need good friends who will easily agree to a Bloody Mary pit stop, not judge you for wanting lunch at 9 am and never speak of your Target bill total.
5. Eat Chinese Food at 9 am – Refer to the tip above. When I turn to my shopping partners and say, “Hungry?” They don’t even look at their phones for the time, they just follow me to the food court and we act like tipsy sorority sisters trying to plan out our meal among the choices. Somehow Food Court Chinese has a tendency to win. And nothing says 9 am like fried rice and General T’so chicken. It is like they pipe that smell through the mall.
6. Don’t Wear Red – If you plan on shopping at Target then pick another color. This is a fair warning. Unless you want your arm tugged, random people asking if you know where the Legos are, or people wanting you to price check, then I suggest picking one of the other available colors to you. Psst, bonus tip – Download the Cartwheel App by Target. You just scan your barcodes and BAM savings!
7. Alcohol Helps – It is stressful dealing with the line at Old Navy that wraps the store. Like suddenly everyone and their brother wants jersey cotton dresses and graphic tees, but I expect it, so I won’t let it rain on my parade. But alcohol helps. It always helps.
8. Take a Nap at Macy’s – Go to the Home section, find the bedding and then climb into the bed and rest your eyes until someone notices.
9. Don’t Let People Ruin Your Day – Because in America, we take to the stores and scream and fight over a Hatchimal, less than 24-hours after a day we express all we are grateful for. Actually, most people are not as stereotypical as we make Black Friday shoppers out to be. My favorites though include those who loudly complain about long lines and crowds. Uh, where did you think you were heading?
10. Husbands and Kids Stay Home – This is my mini vacation. Pathetic? Well, I am just encouraged by the thought of shopping without interruptions like random bathroom breaks from my potty training toddler. And, girl time helps too!

Hope you enjoyed my attempt at humor.