I once was a woman who kept up with her home. Clean dishes, folded laundry, organized cabinets and a made bed.
Now dishes are piled high as if the sink is just a storage bin. Our laundry sits in the baskets so long that it wrinkles to the point that I have to wash it all over again. My bed looks like a teenage boy resides here (no offense!). If I make the bed on Saturdays. It is a luxury.
I once was a woman who equated a good time with going out. Friday nights at home were lame. Dinner dates never began before 7 pm and always ended with drinks and maybe even dancing somewhere with friends.
Now Fridays consist of heels off, sweatpants on, take-out ordered and if we are lucky, we last past 9:30 pm.
I once was a woman who made a fuss over presentation. My home decor changed on the spot with the season. Even the simplest of get-togethers included well-thought out themed menus, down to matching disposable plasticware.
Now I consider myself extra festive with my new Spring flag in the front yard. It was Fall harvest themed about two weeks ago.
I once was a woman who found time for me. I made salon appointments for the latest ombre hairstyle, booked a manicure, did a little shopping, or a lot of shopping and always seemed to run out of time on weekends getting to do what I wanted to do.
Now I consider it a good day if my hair is not high atop my head in a messy bun, if both legs are shaved (yes, I have in a hurry forgot to shave a leg), and my goodness I felt like I went to the spa when I took some time to clip my nails and pluck my eyebrows.
This is what motherhood did to me. Motherhood turned me into someone else. Someone on most days that I don’t recognize. Motherhood took the former me and shook her up a bit. Rocked the ground beneath where she once stood.
Motherhood made me a messy house baring, pizza eating homebody who would trade in getting all dolled up for a night out on the town for sweatpants and a movie, holding her baby.
You see before motherhood the woman I once was cared about things, but that is just what they were, things. Everything that defined the woman I once was, centered around perceptions. I don’t feel like she was a selfish woman, she just didn’t know any different or better. Motherhood gave me the ability to live more simply and love more stronger. It allowed me to put things into perspective and see what is important. Motherhood said your dishes can wait but your baby will grow if you don’t slow down and live in the moment. Motherhood made me appreciate what I had and not what I wanted.
This is what motherhood did to me… and I kind of like it.
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Hey girl just happened to stumble upon your blog, I really enjoyed scrolling through and reading. Looking forward to your next post. Have a lovely day.
XO JNESS
Jness – Thank you so much for stopping by and checking out my little home. 🙂
I am in love with the shoes you are wearing in your last post! So, adorable.
Amen to this whole post! I think you were further ahead of the game pre-motherhood than I was (I was never one for going out on the town dancing and have the messy bun going on a solid 95% of the time lol) but I’m in the same dirty-dishes-wrinkled-piles-of-laundry-unmade-bed-early-bedtime-one-shaved-leg boat as you are currently (: Motherhood is unlike anything else. Wouldn’t trade a second of it!
Thanks, Bethani! Doesn’t the one shaved leg just boggle you? It gets me every time! HaHa. Seriously, how do I forget?
Motherhood is a concept that I have considered my entire life and at 29 still have not reached a concrete decision on. Before, it was easy to brush off motherhood because I’m a firm believer in a child growing up in a two parent home. None of my former relationships were even close to prospects for that, plus I was very busy in my 20s doing all the aforementioned activities in your article: dinner past 7, dancing, drinking and making my bed daily. Now, I’m in a relationship that both of us are hoping is our last and we talk often about reproduction. He already has a 4 yo son, so I’m getting some step-mommy practice, but I know that doesn’t compared to barring and caring for your own.
I really enjoyed your article because I wasn’t expecting it to end the way it did. For a quick second I though maybe you had some remorse about having to leave the pre-maternal activities in the past, prompting me to declare (again!) that I will never me a mom. But instead your declaration of enjoying the woman you are now even more than the woman you were content with before makes motherhood that much more interesting.
I’m still on the fence though 🙂 And honestly probably will be until I either die childless or become presently surprised after being with my (future) husband for at least another 5 years…
Great post! Can’t wait to see more.
Thank you so much for sharing a part of your story! And, for reading! I love hearing from people who have taken a moment to read the Blog. What I have learned (and maybe it is another topic for another post) is that you are never really ready to be a mother. You don’t find motherhood. It finds you. One really cannot prepare for this new role. There are so many things I expected to be harder or easier. The great thing though is that it is okay to be on the fence. You are allowed to be. My experience is mine and yours will be yours and that is such a beautiful thing. Thanks for reading along!