Bedtime. It is definitely not the sweetest spot of our every day. Lately Lo wants to stay up later and later, and I tend to be mush when it comes to bedtime. I am that Mom who cannot stand when her child stands at the dinner table, or when her two-year old refuses to eat decent food and instead insists on white bread with butter, but two hours of fighting bedtime and I am all like, “Oh, she is just a baby.”
We are back – Logisms Part 2. When I typed that in my mind I heard the voice from the Cha Cha Slide. You know when the guy says, “This is Part 2.” Is there a Part 1, Part 3? I have been to many, many weddings since the Cha Cha Slide was first introduced and to this day, I am always cha cha in again and turnin’ it out to part 2.
Because I want no reader in the dark, This is what I am talking about.
So, I am back with Logisms Part 2, and if you missed Part 1, well, you missed out. Luckily for you I care and will easily redirect you to Part 1, Here.
Yes, you read the headline right. Parents, I figured it out. As I stared at my wide-eyed, what the heck just happened to me two-year old, who laid on the bathroom floor in disarray looking up at me, it hit me… living with a toddler is like living with a drunk person.
You see, I asked my daughter to join my in the bathroom as I was home alone with her and needed to iron my clothes. Our ironing board is attached to the back of the bathroom door, so technically I lock myself in when I need to iron. Of course, she could not do damage with me by her side unlike if I was locked in a room with her free to roam the house. It was two minutes. That is it! And, in two minutes she caused enough damage for an hour worth of repair work.
“Look at me Mommy!” And as I turned, my two year old, Lo, had moved her potty over to the wall, stood on top of its lid and was hanging from our towel rack. When she lifted her little feet backwards into the air the towel rack ripped in a hurry from the wall, pulling some of the dry wall, and she crashing to the ground.
Yep! Just like living with a drunk person.
#1 – They spill their drinks all over the floor
I have physically witnessed my daughter laugh as she squeezed the life out of a juice box and watched the sugary substance spill all over the floor. Leaky bottle in the bed? No worries! We like sleeping in wet bed sheets. If there is a drink in our home without a screw top lid, well then we are just that – screwed.
#2 – They are always getting hurt
Clumsy! My toddler will walk straight into a wall or door. This morning when we opened the front door to leave, she tumbled outside onto our porch. Flat out tumbled. It is like her feet are their very own tripping hazard. She had so many bruises on her face that my husband posted this to SnapChat last month.
#3 – They cry… a lot!
Their emotions are all over the place. Lo has cried recently because I would not allow her to open glitter eye shadow she found in my old makeup bag (heck, I cried that I wore that stuff), because her bottle of milk seemed too cold, because the toy bucket in the shower had cold water in it from the night before, and because I told her she could not eat butter out of the butter container with a spoon.
#4 – They ask why way too much
Everything is why? Everything! Our dinner conversation the other night went something like this.
Me: Eat your food.
Me: Because it is dinner time.
Me: Because you have to eat before you go to bed.
Me: Do you want to be hungry before bed?
Me: Because I said so.
Lo: Because Why?
#5 – You cannot have nice things
Hence my story above. We now have a hole in our bathroom wall and ripped drywall. All thanks to a “Look at me Mommy,” hang! Don’t even get me started on my carpets!
#6 – They do not care what scene they make in public
It does not matter that the restaurant is full and your client is seated with his wife across the room. They could care less if the lady at the end of the grocery store aisle goes to your church. Really care less as they knock over the display and you are left deciding if you should clean it up or run for cover. Heck, the mere fact that there are eyes upon them means nothing, their emotions show through regardless of who is around. There is no need to impress and zero care about causing a scene.
#7 – The flip their dinner plates
Don’t like that? Ah! Just throw it off the table. We love cleaning up beneath and around you.
#8 – My phone has drunk dials
I do not know why I have not yet learned from my mistakes. Lo has called a business contractor on my husband’s phone at 9 pm at night and Facetimed one of my old colleges. Awesome!
#9 – They want pizza, Oreos or chicken nuggets for breakfast all the time
My daughter wakes up asking for gummies! Partly my fault since we do give her a vitamin gummie so she then thinks she can have a bag. She will cry for pizza for breakfast and ice cream just before dinner. It is like she could eat all the time.
#10 – They can fall asleep anywhere
In the car, on the floor, across your lap, any where other than their crib or bed. My favorite was after a long day and a missed nap, she walked in the house, boots and snow coat still on, scuffled over to her toy couch and face dived into the cushion and just laid there.
Motherhood and all its craziness, I mean greatness! More motherhood reads here:
- When You Give A Two Year Old A Mini Shopping Cart
- The Best Parenting Advice I Can Give
- Sunday Morning and Poison Control
There is no motherhood guidebook. Sure there are great resources out there. Books, mobile apps, Pinterest links to blogs like this one, your own mother, etc – but there is no ultimate guide that we are all working from. No uniformed source, that we can reference to.
I remember the first few days when I started my job with the company I am with now. Eight years ago, my job was digitally focused. I created email campaigns, website pages and was on the brinks of something big which would one day be termed “social media.” Part of my tasks was to update the company’s website on a regular basis with the various outlet’s hours of operations. I remember asking my director, “Well, where is the guidebook? ” He looked at me quite strange. I had all these places to go to look for the many outlet hours and very few resources matched. “How am I suppose to know which of these options is correct?” I again spoke up and asked.
I could tell I puzzled the man as he blinked hard and said, “Well, you will just have to call around and ask.”
It is the same with motherhood. No real – book or resource to end all books and resources. No real “Bible” of parenting or motherhood. We are all mad collectors of information. We ask and sometimes we receive without even asking, tips and tidbits on ways to coop and handle our kids. Sleep training and potty training, building self-confidence, discipline methods, best foods for their diets and how to the lose the pacifier and the bottle. We are absorbent creatures. But how do we know if our way is the right way? Or if there is even a right way at all?
A few of my girlfriends are expecting babies and turn to social media for recommendations. They will post things such as – “Looking for a childcare recommendation. Looking for the best brand of baby monitors. What are your baby registry must haves? Do I really need a wipe warmer?” I use to thrive so much more in assisting and offering my opinion. I mean they are asking! But, I have learned that everyone has an opinion. Everyone! To the point that I have made a recommendation based on my experience and then had someone comment below me basically telling the friend, “Do not listen to Ashli. Instead do this…” Well not in those exact words. It was more like a big “NO” and a pointer finger emoji pointing to my comment and then the exact opposite advice. It hurt my feelings quite frankly. First, because someone had the nerve to call me out in front of everyone and secondly, that my personal opinion was discredited as “wrong” and hers “right.” How could it be wrong when it worked so well for me?
I often like to participate in chat loops on Instagram. Last week, a group of mommas included me in one and the one mother posed the following question, “What is one thing you said you would never do before becoming a mom and now you do?”
I actually referred back to This Post on the Blog and shared how I said I would never give a binkie, or allow them to watch too much TV or co-sleep and now my two year old sleeps in between us at night, while watching Sprout, with a binkie in her mouth. Mom fail?! No, definitely not. Motherhood has taught me many, many valuable lessons. One being – never say never, but ultimately that you have to do what is right for you and your child without the influence of others. I added, “Each parent and each child are on their own unique journey.”
What is right for one family, one child or one parent may not necessarily work for another and that is okay. We are all dealt different circumstances that alter our wants and needs in this life. Everything little thing can add up in a big impactful way. If you ask me my opinion or my advice, know I will gladly share because I want to help you, but also know it is coming from a place that has worked for me, and may not you, and guess what – that is okay.
We all learn as we go. Some days motherhood is pretty great and others days lousy. Some days I feel like supermom and other days question my sanity. We can talk about those things too. The good and the bad. It is not all roses being parents, and having a bad day does not define who we are or how well we are at raising our kids.
Social media has a brilliant way of making us look like super stars, with perfect lives, doing it all the right way. We don’t post pictures of our grimy kids, who have not showered in two days and have dried maple syrup on their sleeves. We would be mortified if someone posted a video of us losing our minds when our kid(s) have literally pushed us to our breaking point and we would be devastated to share the not so nice words we say to our spouse over something so minuscule because we are tired, no, take that back – exhausted and completely stressed. But, that is really our real lives, and that is okay. I am here to say. I got you. I understand you. I have been there. I am there.
There is no guide to being a great parent. There is no one-stop, end-all-be-all, that will tell you exactly how to handle motherhood. There are a ton of great resources and there is a great deal of mixed advice. The best advice I can give to you – There is no wrong or right. There is only your wrong and your right.
And, as a parent, you will learn what is best for you and your own children. Learn it, love it, accept it and own it.
Here are some of my other favorite motherhood and parenting posts:
Last winter our family packed up the car and hit the road for a mini winter vacation to Splash Lagoon in Erie, PA. You can read all about it Here. The trip was not a total disaster as us adults had maybe subconsciously suspected, but instead a success! So much so, that we decided to make our joint family vacation an annual tradition, but mixing up the location a bit. An indoor water park in the middle of winter gave the kids some adventure out of the norm to look forward to and gave us adults an easy go-to trip idea that secretly makes us feel like kids again too.
It has been yet again a mild winter, despite my dear sister-in-law Amie’s wishes. She cringes as the temperature climbs and the sun comes out in January. A true winter bird, I think she even admitted traveling in this weather and lugging the kids in and out of our cars in warm temperatures versus blistering snow was actually quite nice.
It hit me this morning. It is day 22 of the new year, and we are three weeks into 2017. Time has once again fleeted me. It has a sneaky way of doing such. Being so present yet silently avoiding me.
I did not choose a typical, straightforward resolution this year. I did not set myself up for the stress of fear of failure or the guilt of changing tides when I suddenly remember, oh I was to eat better and indulged in two coffees, a slice of birthday cake, two beers and three slices of pizza today. Gulp!
No, I decided instead of pushing myself into something for sake of 2017 replacing 2016 on every check I write, that I would choose a path of self focus and inner self waking.
“Play-Doht” – Lo’s mispronunciation of Play-Doh. The t is not silent. No, definitely not silent. Who knew after so much consideration on her birthday and holiday presents, after money spent, that through it all, Play-Doh would rise to the top of her favorite toy list?
I did not expect such a hit from my daughter who is driven by her imagination and thoroughly loves make believe. No, not at all. My two-year old tends to entertain herself well with passed down Barbies and plenty of baby dolls. She talks to herself as she lugs her doll through the house, with a diaper bag over her little shoulder and a bottle in her hand. But, mention the word Play-Doh and she drops her toys and stops in her tracks and runs to the dining room table. I have at least successfully taught her that the we only play with Play-Doh at the table.
It wasn’t until she laid there lips slightly puckered upward, those big round eyes closed with her naturally long lashes whispering against her face and her tiny baby hands clutched into fists that I watched and wondered her dreams. She was so peaceful. The home was so quiet. Her beauty so breathtaking that the clock had passed two minutes before I realized I had just sat there starring at her with a smile on my face.
A true genuine smile that slowly faded and a pang in my gut and an incredible sense of guilt overcame my body. I felt heartbroken in that instant. Heartbroken for my beauty as she rested her head on a big comfy pillow with her legs across mine.
Happy New Year’s Eve! Wow. Another year. How does this happen? How does time move so suddenly? How are we going to be joining together to count down from 10 this evening and kiss at the stroke of midnight to celebrate the turn of a New Year?
I feel relieved that the year is over, yet blessed that I have had this time. I feel exhausted from the stresses that occurred in 2016 and yet so grateful for every bump along the way. Mostly, I am optimistic that 2017 will be my year and your year. That good will come from the days ahead of us.
Looking back on 2016 one of the proudest accomplishments has been this space. I started to feel like 2016 was the year small successes and victories started happening. Baby steps if you will towards something much bigger for this space, my writing and for me. You are behind that, because you as a reader are also a supporter and I adore you!
There have been many great moments that have come from some of my experiences that I have translated to words here for you. These are my Top 2016 blog posts based on views. I hope you take a moment to re-read a favorite or read one you may have missed along the way.
#7 – Mama Bear Syndrome
#5 – Dear Little Sister
#1 – 10 Hotel Hacks When Traveling With Kids
So, there we are. The top 10 posts of 2016. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I really cannot express my gratitude enough. This space is therapy for me. It is finally the hobby I had been searching for. When I am having a rough moment in time, I think how I can translate what I am going through into words. When I experience pure joy, I cannot wait to share with you. So, once again, thank you.
May 2017 bless you and your family and may we look back on 2016 and seek all the good.
And, poof! Just like that, she is now two… TWO! Now seriously, Mr. Time, how does that happen? I am still baffled by this. I remember when I found out I was pregnant and 9 months seemed like an eternity. I felt like this little baby would be growing inside me forever, and then before I knew it I was in my second trimester, then 20 weeks, then 30 and then baby, all baby. And, now two?
Tears have been shed. My sweet girl is all smiles, attitude (yes, that happened) and giggling and laughing. Instead of trying to find the words to say, I put this little video together. I act like it is for her, but I know it is for me. I am celebrating her BIG life in our little world.
Happy Birthday, sweet girl. It really is a better place since you came along.