Can we talk about mornings? Ya, know what I am talking about? Shit show mornings. Sorry for the curse (not sorry). Mornings when you have to get out the door and be at your office job by 8 am, and you got kid(s) – well I am not joking, it is a shit show. Sometimes I exclaim “I have worked a full day before I even start my ‘workday’.” Why? Well, because I am exhausted mentally and physically from mom life and adulting. I am pretty sure I do more from 6 am to 8 am than any other two-hour span all day.
Coffee. Bottle. No, actually I need to clean a dirty bottle, so my daughter has a bottle. Shower. Laundry load switcharoo. Throw a toddler in the shower. Well, don’t throw her. Find papers from work that said toddler relocated somewhere in the house (usually her shopping cart, along with a potato from three weeks ago). Fix hubby a coffee. He drinks it cold. I drink mine cold. Get ready the best possible way I can. Dry a wet toddler who got out of the shower and is crying she is cold from the bathroom. Pack toddler bag. Pack my lunch. Locate car keys, after getting locked out of the house in the cold. – You get it!
So, when we finally, yes FINALLY, get ourselves in the car to head out the door, sweat pouring from my face and down my neck even in sub-zero degree temperatures, I find myself sighing heavy and wanting to crank up the radio and drown life out.
All wide-eyed in wonder. Looking out the window as this world of hers passes her by and I feel a pang each and every time for rushing through this darn life so fast and furious. Always hurrying her along. Always feeling stressed and anxious, trying to get us out the door in a timely manner. Interrupting her thoughts and giving her a constant, “Hurry up,” “Come on,” or “We got to go.”
But yet, in my rearview mirror, there she is. Patient, calm and all present for me.
I turn the radio down and talk to her.
I do indeed try to use the 15 minutes of time from my house and to my mom’s to actually talk to Logan. Ask her what she dreamed about. Ask her what she looks forward to doing today. Maybe what she wants for dinner that night.
Those conversations with my little girl as she sits taking in her surroundings, tapping her toes to the beat of the music, giggling and laughing as we travel along, that is what makes those crazy, hectic, shit shows of mornings, something really special.
Those peaceful uninterrupted 15 minutes together is what makes me forget how crazy and hectic mornings are. The same mornings, I seem to forget to exist as I do it all over again the next day.
So parents, that hot mess 6 am to 8 am or whatever hours seem to be the crazy, hectic, just got to get through hours, do that – get through. And, relish in the moments. Even if they are 15 minutes and from your rear view mirror.