No, but seriously, this is for all my ladies. Being a Mom is hard, tiring work.
I know, I know, being a Dad is too, please don’t private message me and comment that I am excluding fathers. I get it, but actually, in reality, I don’t, because I am Momma, so I am focusing this on motherhood.
If you asked me to describe my current situation it would be exhausted. I swear I am always exhausted. All day. Every day. I am frustrated and I am definitely lacking patience. Some days by 8:30 am, I feel like I have already given my all. Living out a 24-hour day when we have only been up for two hours. O.M.G.
Lo has reached the pre-terrible two’s, which I fully support is a legit thing. She throws herself into a back bend, when I open the car door to place her in her car seat. She lashes out and thrashes about. Digging the back of her head into the seat rest and scooting her body fast off the edge. I would imagine it looks like I am trying to wrangle an animal in the back seat of my car.
Right now “No.” Is her favorite, and may I add annoying choice word. It never is said once. It is usually accompanied by a “No, No, No, NOOOO!” So, it is super positive up in here.
We meltdown. Usually when Mom and / or Dad have not fed her on cue. Hangry is what it is and I know all about it because I personally suffer from it as well. Meltdowns can occur anywhere these days. And, usually it is in the most public places when you feel like every other human walking by is judging you and just watching how you will best handle.
I have one child. I get that when I complain about being tired, or exhausted (an extreme of tired), that the Mommies of multiples probably raise an eyebrow or roll eyes. I get having more than one child is another layer of motherhood that I know nothing about. My mommy friends with plus ones, probably talk about me not being able to hang or handle one. Heck, I myself question my ability for another child, when I feel as tired as I do with one.
Motherhood is a full-time, around the clock job. It is really that. We are working first, second and third shifts. Plus, handling all other responsibilities that existed pre-baby. We are hustlin.
I work full-time but really much more than a typical 40-hour work week. It is demanding and at many times, completely overwhelming.
Days begin super early and by the time I have disconnected myself from Lo and have transitioned into career woman mode, I feel as if I myself have been completely depleted. While I drive my hour commute to work, I try so hard to use the time to decompress and switch my mentality towards work and looming projects, but the reality is, when you are a mommy, it is something you cannot “turn off.”
In the workforce, there is an expression often used, “Leave your personal problems at home and focus on work.” I grew a child inside me for 9 months, I delivered a human, I live and breath her wants and needs, sometimes I cannot “turn it off.” When we started showing signs before the one-year mark of becoming mobile, I found myself daydreaming throughout the day of her taking her first steps without me (which she did). When we have had a sleepless night due to teething or a cold, I am either 1) sleep deprived or 2) wondering if she is napping or eating well for the sitter.
In the evenings, once I pick up Lo, sometimes I want to cry at the thought of not being able to “chill.” Especially if my day has been long and stressful. It is full-speed ahead until Lo finally crashes. There is dinner to be made, sometimes a trip to the grocery store for said dinner ingredients, a diaper bag to be packed, a bath to be had and a whole ritual of a bedtime routine. “Me time” which use to exist every night prior to Lo, is now nonexistent.
Recently, I asked a girlfriend if this exhaustion was normal or maybe I just suck at time management. Why do I feel like I am frustrated? She really put into perspective for me when she explained that as mothers we just have this innate need to handle everything. Work responsibilities, extended family needs, keeping the house tidy, meal planning, grocery runs, dinner prep, lunches packed, appointments scheduled, bills paid, and the list goes on.
We are hustlers. Our minds never stop. Once a child was born we developed a new sense for multitasking on both physical and mental levels. Super human if you will. You can be prepping dinner, drawing a bath, checking over a kid’s homework and pouring a glass of wine in two minutes top. It is like you can’t shut it off. And, the only time you do, is when you shut your eyes to sleep, but by golly, that is the moment your child screams out for you.
It is tiring. It is rewarding. I will say it again though, it is tiring. Some days I want to sleep. Some days just screaming will do. I know one thing, I am not alone. Too many good Mommas are too out there hustlin hard to provide for their families financially, emotionally, physically and often not described or said enough – lovingly.
So, while I will still complain because one day can seem harder than the next, I also send my love out there to you. Because I know you understand me and even most likely are feeling these same emotions too.