2015 was a big year for our family. Our life was ever changed by the presence of one little human being. One beautiful, special human being that I cannot get enough of. Technically she was born in 2014, but this past year was a whirlwind of new experiences and firsts for us all. We celebrated so many achievements and milestones and embraced our tiny baby as she developed throughout the year to a toddler, a toddler I say. Baby Lo’s birth marked a spiritual awakening in me and I felt my heart grow so much bigger and my love for God so much stronger. From the moment she was placed in my arms and I was declared a “Mom,” I felt this immediate connection to God, unlike anything before. Knowing she is a gift from him and I chosen to be her Mom filled me with this overwhelming feeling of gratefulness. With my family before me and Lo in my arms, we both were baptized this year. It was a commitment we made as individuals and as a family.
I was pushed emotionally and physically on so many levels in 2015. I look back and think, “It was the best and worse year of my life.” Crazy, huh? My family went through a personal and trying year. It was a learning experience that ultimately tested our patience, kindness, acceptance, faith and love. The battle has been exhausting at times but I know that at the end of the day, when I lay my head down to sleep I feel this immense calm and peace in my heart and I know that my little family has grown stronger through this journey.
Being a “working mom” has allowed me to develop a greater sense of appreciation for women, moms and the many females who embrace both titles. I never realized before my own child and my own career the sacrifices that women make. The guilt we carry daily. The struggle of being all and doing all. I have felt stress unlike ever before. I have learned the true meaning of priorities and I have questioned every second of every day. When the days are long and my mind is weak and body aches from mental exhaustion, I come home and rock my baby to sleep. It is the cure to it all. But, 2015 has been eye opening in that I never realized the weight women carry in a world that emphasizes and judges the many angles, titles and responsibilities of a working mom.
Knowing all of this and looking back on the good and bad that mark 2015, I go into 2016 and know my strengths, weaknesses and goals, or dare I say resolutions.
- I want to be better. Do better. Have a purpose.
- I need to find and embrace balance.
- I strive to be more patient.
- I must be kind and show genuine care for others.
- I will put my family and their needs first.
Lofty? Maybe. But, the big picture is that if there is one thing 2015 has taught me it is that I cannot have it all. I do not need to have it all and more importantly, I do not want to have it all. At the end of the day, I am so proud of myself for realizing that I am motivated by happiness.
So, cheers to 2016. May you find peace, love, health and prosperity. I hope that you can reflect on 2015, the good and the bad and accept both. New Year’s is our opportunity to move forward, ahead and start new.
God bless and love to you all!